Miserable Like Me
by amyheartsricky
Summary: To get over an unwanted crush, Bianca will go to any lengths. But nothing seems to work. Could she really be pining over some freak of nature who's already moved on?
1. Prologue: It's Gonna Be A Long Night

**We all know Bianca doesn't accept what Adam is, but that doesn't mean she can stop the feelings she has for him. Except Adam doesn't seem to care, in fact, he's already moved on. It seems Bianca's attitude has finally caught up with her. Now it seems she'll go to any lengths to get him to want her. And when things go out of control, Adam and Bianca both, just might end up hurt.**

* * *

Yes, this story sprung up out of nowhere because I don't like Bianca  
(who honestly can after my body is a cage?) so it's fun to have her pining over Adam :P  
And maybe their relationship will actually go somewhere if she can stop being a you-know-what.  
Obviously Adam likes girls like Bianca, the bad-girl type I guess. Oh well.

{& one more thing, when Bianca calls Adam names, that's just how Bianca is.  
It has nothing to do with how I view Adam or any of the other characters.}

* * *

This is beyond ridiculous, she thought to herself, almost falling forward on the poker table as she leaned to expose her cleavage to max effect. She scoffed loudly when he didn't even sneak a small peek in her direction.

_God, was he a boy at all?_ she grumbled silently to herself while fixing her dress, not appreciating the freshman drooling over her at the next table. _Oh,_ she snickered at her unintended joke, _right._ The laugh escaped her glossed lips and, finally, he glanced up at her. Although his expression wasn't one of attraction, he was finally acting like she existed and she sent a smirk his way. _Good,_ he'd think she was making fun of him - again.

To her surprise, he didn't blush or hide his face, or even get that look of loneliness that he used to, absolutely nothing to show that her hate for what he was effected him. He just raised a card and placed it onto the table, all the while with a defiant look to the girl who exposed him to the entire school.

While she stomped away in frustration at the boy, she wondered what had changed him in the last few days. It couldn't be that prissy little Christian girl, could it? She always saw them together: in the halls, in the lunchroom, the parking lot, leaning against GothBoy's hearse. Well, she'd get the little skank regardless. She honestly couldn't believe it when Fitz had announced they were going together tonight. And it wasn't even some plot to kick GothBoy's ass!_ Uh! _She has to do everything herself!

Making her way across the floor, Bianca spotted her, chatting up GothBoy. She was almost there when she caught herself. Showing off, attacking Little Miss Perfect, seducing Drew? All to get _Adam Torres'_ attention? All for a freak of nature who didn't give a crap whether she liked him or not anymore? _Nuh-uh_. This would stop, right here, right now.

Except the baby-faced, blue-eyed, irritatingly unforgettable boy brushed past her without a glance, on his way to the refreshment table, and she was fired up again. Uhhh, this was maddening! Just last week, he was flirting with her every chance he got and now, once the shock of him being a transgendered freak had died down around school and even after what happened in the boiler room with his ownfreakingbrother(_!_), he couldn't appear to care less.

Fuck! She felt like punching a wall! Whatever reason she had for feeling so angry at the moment, it was irrational, but she felt it anyway. Why wasn't _**he**_ sitting off in the corner by himself (_because nobody likes freaks_), hoping that she would ask him to dance? _Good luck with that_, she snickered, though, she remembered, he.. wasn't. Why wasn't _**he**_ making a fool of himself trying to get her attention? Why wasn't _**he**_ hanging onto her every word, her every move? Why wasn't _**he**_ fucking _**miserable**_ right now? she wanted to scream.

But he was having _fun_. The thought was sickening. His face was brightened with a smile, happier than she'd ever seen when he was with her, and she loved and hated the sight of it. Because he would never smile at her like that.

She downed what was left of her spiked punch. This was gonna be a long night.

* * *

xxo,  
Please review if you liked it.  
Next chapter coming soon...


	2. Just My Luck Part 1

It was long after Vegas night. Fitz had gotten arrested for bringing a knife, the prick. Being a friend of hers, you'd think she would care that her friend had been sent to jail, but the real truth was that she didn't give a crap - he had done it to himself, egging on GothBoy by bringing Little Miss Perfect to the dance. Boys. They were fucking idiots.

Yawning, she made her way to the upstairs bathroom and flicked on the light. She squinted, the brightness blinding her momentarily, and ran a brush through her tangled curls. She dressed in the school's ugly new uniform grudgingly, cutting off some of the skirt's length by folding it at the waist. She smoothed the shirt over the folds and examined her figure in the mirror. Glancing at the clock, she noted that she had no less than five minutes to make it school, and her stomach flipped. Not because she was going to be late. Because the sooner she got there, the sooner she would see him. Why that excited her, she had no clue.

Dropping the brush angrily, she tore open the bathroom door, grabbed her bag from the hallway floor, and left the house at once. Adam would be shocked she'd forgotten her hair mousse.

She walked to Degrassi, since riding with Fitz was now out of the question and her mother was at work. It was barely a ten minute walk but she was already pissed off by the time she reached the building. Bianca shoved her bag in her locker roughly, planning on skipping her first class, but her math teacher happened to be walking by at that moment, giving her a stern look, and she reminded herself that she really didn't need another call home.

Grudgingly, she entered the classroom - the one she'd always hated, simply for being held at 9 in the morning. She sat far at the back, taking her seat next to Owen. She didn't bother to greet him, leaning her chin on her palm, zoning everything out for a few peaceful minutes.

Thoughts of Vegas night entered her mind...

_Blue. That was all she saw._

_She placed her finished exam on the supervisor's desk and left the room, sending an empty smile to Drew. She knew he would give in, in the end. Not because they had any connection whatsoever, but because Drew was just like any other boy. Simple. Disposable. Temporary._

_It was disconcerting why all of a sudden, hooking up in a dirty boiler room was all buisness.. It didn't matter anyway. She just knew this had to piss him off. His own brother hooking up with the girl he used to sort-of be into, who'd once gotten him thrown through a glass door? If that didn't get under his skin, then nothing would._

_She waited in the hallway, watching all the students of Degrassi hurry out of school in an excited rush, already pumped for Vegas night. She wasn't too ecstatic about attending - school dances weren't her thing ; she preferred concerts to her school's sweaty gym - but it was a definite way to see her plan unfold._

_Soft footsteps entered the hall and soon Drew was in front of her, looking guilty and unsure. He reminded Bianca again about his little girlfriend and she ignored it - again. If he cared about this girl so much, he'd be here with her instead right now. She took hold of his belt loop, pulling him into the room, holding him there with her eyes. So easily tempted._

_Once inside, she got straight to it. She pushed him against the farthest wall roughly as he started to change his mind again. No backing out now, buddy. With his back against the brick, his breathing picked up and Bianca placed a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet, giving him a seductive smile. She leaned in ever so slowly, sliding both hands to his belt, and kissed him forcefully. Distracting him with her lips, she slowly undid the belt at his waist._

_Staring into Drew's deep brown eyes, she wondered why she only saw blue. A beautiful, flowing ocean of blue that she could just get lost in - God, she was turning into such a girl. Luckily, Drew and Adam weren't blood-related and so she couldn't find any similiarities between them._

_Bianca pictured his face when he heard the news later this evening. "Andrew, how could you - Bianca?" She smiled, this small mistake would pay off for her. Maybe not for Drew and his little girlfriend.. but who really cared about them?_

_It was unacceptable that she felt anything but disgust after finding out what Adam was. Was it not her that greeted him with words like "tranny," "freak," and "lesbo"? Was she not horrified when she'd ripped open his shirt that day and exposed his secret? Hadn't she been satisfied when Fitz and Owen taught him a lesson and gotten suspended for it? Yes. So why she kept thinking about him was a mystery to all._

_And why she was now hooking up with Drew Torres, someone she wouldn't normally go for - being the typical, egotistical football jock that she despised - just for his freak of a brother was an even bigger mystery..._

Mr. Fitch, the short, balding history teacher she'd come to hate, cleared his throat to get the class' attention. But a beanie-wearing, blue-eyed boy slipped in at the last minute and he held up a hand to the class as the boy spoke quietly, blushing slightly. Bianca couldn't believe it, that this was really happening. Just. Her. _Luck._

She was still staring at Adam when he, very reluctantly, surveyed the classroom, looking for a place to sit. They locked eyes almost at once, and Bianca glared. He didn't seem all that bothered - used to her bad attitude, she guessed. He sat at the back as well, though as far away from her as he could get. That pissed her off even more.

For his sake as well as hers, she kept her eyes on the lesson the entire hour they were stuck together. But her anger didn't abate.

Fitch announced an important, very _mandatory_, assignment starting tomorrow and she jumped for joy. No really, she was _so_ happy.

Adam caught her attention again, playing with his stupid hat. His eyes were bored while he spun the hat around and around the desk, paying no mind to the teacher giving him stern looks. He didn't notice, and jumped back when Fitch snatched it from his hands, landing him in detention. She smirked, satisfied. It was his own stupid fault, no wonder he'd gotten transferred from Advanced Math, the boy had the attention span of a dead mouse.

It was his own fault too, she thought, that she was so.. infatuated. He'd flirted first, not giving up even when she ignored him completely. Him and those stupid blue eyes, that stupid beanie cap that she admitted made him look..cute, that stupidly contagious smile - rare nowadays. _Just so_...stupid.

She hadn't realised she'd been staring so long when the bell surprised her. He shoved his books away at once, eager to leave and meet his friends, she guessed. He reached up to touch his hat before remembering he didn't have it anymore, and ended up patting himself on the head a few times before realising that. Bianca snicked, such a dork, and grabbed it from the teacher's desk before leaving the room after him.

Oh, but he'd miss this. Her lips formed a grin.


	3. Just My Luck Part 2

**:D You guys blew me away with the reviews so here's the next chapter. It's just a look into what Adam thinks of the situation. Same day, just a different class. Nothing much new happens. I dont really know if Adam takes Media Immersion (or whatever its called) but I guess it doesnt really matter.**  
**Hope you enjoy!**  
**xxo**

* * *

She was angry, livid in fact, that he could tell. But Bianca was never one to be all smiles and sunshine, so he brushed it off. Her feelings had nothing to do with him - they didn't matter, not anymore. She'd lost his concern when she turned on him for being transgendered. Of course, he understood that majority of the people he would meet in his lifetime would either not understand and leave it at that or not accept him and not bother to try (he counted himself lucky that he'd found friends as accepting and loyal as Eli and Clare at Degrassi). Bianca had chosen her path. And so, she was no concern of his.

Adam tapped away on his keyboard, trying to keep his eyes on the computer screen with Bianca visbly fuming two seats away. What was her deal? He'd seen her arguing with Fitz before he'd gotten arrested the night of the dance. Maybe she was into him now. _Good,_ he thought to himself. They deserved each other.

Ms. Oh announced the end of class ten minutes early and Adam signed off quickly, dying to get out of school. It was like this every day. Different roles for each class. The punching bag in gym class (his mother had finally given in and talked to Simpson, who, after the dance, wasn't too pleased and neither were his classmates, apparently), the third-wheel in English (Eli and Clare's turned-desperate romance had hit a new high since the events of Vegas night), and he'd just recently become the laughing stock of his science class. He had a feeling that dissecting a frog's lower body wouldn't be so comical if it were anyone else.

Clare, too, was in this class, but lately she was too consumed with comforting Alli and being hopelessly in love with his best friend to pay much attention to him (even her big sister Darcy was in town this week for a visit, which, according to Clare, always brought drama of it's own). Her eyes would often lose focus and Adam knew she was worrying about one of the many things going wrong in her life. He felt bad for her, and tried to keep it from Ms. Oh's attention, she had so much on her plate at the moment: her parents, troubles with Eli, Alli.

Considering the crap he had to deal with in his other classes, Ms. Oh wasn't all that bad. She mostly scolded him for not paying attention and bouncing on the balls they'd gotten to replace the chairs (which, when you thought about it, was a bit ridiculous seeing as they couldn't really expect a bunch of teenagers to sit still on a bouncy ball). The only problem, really, was Bianca.

She would waltz in late every day long past the bell, popping her gum or smelling faintly of alcohol, shoot a nasty comment his way, and seat herself two seats away (which, he thought, was only in case she came up with another witty joke about him having the body of a girl). Just his luck that his bad math grade had landed him another class with Bianca. He shouldn't really be surprised - he hadn't expected to last as long as he did in Advanced Math, just to be with Clare.

He was surprised slightly, when Bianca came in today, on time for what was positively the first time in her entire highschool career. It was all very strange, that she avoided his eye and sat down immediately, albeit a little tipsy. This was usually the part where she would fake a brilliant smile and say sarcastically, "Oh my God, Gracie! You look so_ pretty_ today!" But nothing came from those gloss-less lips. And for some reason he couldn't comprehend, the longer she sat there, the more angry she got. It was scary to watch, so he kept his eyes forward.

Right now, he was just glad he was getting very far away from her. An angry DeSousa was bad news. He walked outside, taking his time to find Drew so he didn't have to tear his step-brother away from arguing with his ex for another few minutes. He would always be there for Drew - they we're brothers, after all, _best friends_ - but even he knew how badly he'd messed up by cheating on Alli.

"Hey freak!" came a shout from behind him. Adam groaned, mentally giving himself a good kick for not running like hell to the parking lot when he'd gotten the chance - forget Drew. But when he turned around, Bianca's anger seemed to have lost some of it's steam.

"What do you want?" Adam said, not bothering to disguise his own hate for the girl. He'd already dug himself into a ditch, there was no point playing nice.

Bianca scowled at his tone, as usual. She didn't like being put in her place. "Forgot this." she said shortly and tossed his beanie at him. He caught it before it whacked him in the face, much to Bianca's dissapointment.

_Oh yeah,_ most of his teachers made him take it off nowadays - part of Simpson's new dress code or something. He was always forgetting it places.

"Uh, thanks." Adam said, unsure why exactly she'd bothered.

Bianca just rolled her eyes. "See you around, Torres." she replied, walking back the way she'd come.

"Wait, what?" Adam called to her retreating figure, surprised - and not in a good way. She just kept walking. Had the world done a complete 180? Bianca Desousa was being _nice_?

He vaguely noticed Drew appearing by his side, his expression showing that he'd seen some of what happened and had come to defend his little brother. Something told Adam he wouldn't be so attentive if Alli wasn't avoiding him so much.

"What was that all about?" Drew asked.

"I have no idea." Adam said honestly, shrugging on his hat a little reluctantly, as if worried Bianca had done something to it.

This was going to be an interesting week.


	4. Mondays

**{**_And it took so long just to feel alright  
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
Cause you broke all your promises  
And now you're back  
You don't get to get me back_**}**_  
_- Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

* * *

Early Monday morning, Adam was slouching down to the kitchen one stair at a time. Drew and his mother were already seated at the large dining table. Adam approached them slowly, still half asleep. Drew grinned at him, ruffling his little brother's hair as he made his way to refridgerator. Adam ran a hand through his bangs and took a seat. Not up to dealing with his mother this early in the morning, he stared down until the wood came up to meet his face.

"Watch it, genius. You'll give _yourself_ a black eye," Drew said lightly, amused, his early morning pep bordering on annoyance.

"I hate Mondays," was Adam's only reply.

Drew came around and sat opposite him, chowing down on his cereal, ignoring Adam giving him hungry looks. Adam rolled his eyes, pushing himself up from the table to get his own breakfast.

"You look excited," Drew observed sarcastically, his mouth full. He was in his football uniform, which meant the team had practise this morning, which meant they would have to head to school two hours early, which meant Adam's bad day had just gotten a thousand times worse.

Adam groaned and Mrs Torres looked up from her newspaper, anticipating the argument that followed everytime he was forced to watch Drew's stupid football practice. Simpson didn't want any students sauntering around the halls when they didn't need to be, especially at this time of day, so Adam had no other options.

"Can't I just.. walk to school today? It's not that far, you know," Adam reasoned. Anything to get out of sitting out on a bench in the blazing sun, watching Drew's game, with only Wesley for company (he was trying to make his way onto the team, poor guy).

Mrs Torres sighed, as if this added so much unneeded stress to her life. Adam braced himself for a lecture. She pursed her lips for a minute before she spoke. "I've got a meeting in a half-hour, Adam, I can't stick around until you leave," she reminded him tiredly, folding her paper up and grabbing her purse from the counter.

"I'll be fine, mom, just go." he said, grinning as he saw the resolve forming in his mother's expression. She gave him a reluctant smile back for a moment before it dropped and she turned away abruptly. Adam tried not to look effected by it, knowing she was still working on the whole Gracie-withdrawal thing. Drew dropped his bowl in the sink, pretending he hadn't noticed anything, and they left a half an hour later.

After finishing his breakfast, Adam marched upstairs to get ready, hoping he'd be able to catch Clare before class - he'd forgotten to finish his homework from Friday and she could never resist handing over hers to copy when he pulled a devastated face. He couldn't help but grin at the thought, he loved Clare but she was such a sucker for that kind of stuff.

Adam showered and dressed quickly, hoping to relax and watch some cartoons before he had to drag himself to Degrassi. But it was almost time to leave once he got downstairs. He grabbed the spare keys his mom had left on the counter before he slipped out the front door, stopping for a second, surprised by the sudden cold. He shrugged before deciding he could handle the slight weather and started down the street.

He'd been walking for no less than five minutes when soft footsteps sounded behind him. He glanced behind him and cursed under his breath. Today was just not his day.

She had her hands stuffed in her pockets and her headphones in, so she didn't glance up at that. In fact, it was only until they neared Degrassi Street that she noticed him at all. Her signature smirk was set in place then and she quickened her step until they were side by side. He ignored her as best he could.

"What do you want, Bianca?" he said irritably, now regretting not getting a ride to school early. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets; she scowled.

"You could be nicer to me, you know. Or at least pretend to be. I _am_ still tight with Fitz." she lied, hoping her expression showed she meant business... which she totally didn't. After what she said on Vegas Night, she was lucky if Fitz even acknowledged her existence, let alone did anything she said.

"And once he gets out," she continued, eyeing him closely as they walked. "I might just let him know what you've been saying while he's been locked up."

"Is that a threat?" Adam said, sounding kind of bored.

Bianca smirked. "'Course not, Gracie. I would _never_ do that." she replied with a fake-sweet grin and stalked on ahead of him. He watched her enter the school, glowering after her tall figure and made his way down the hall to his locker.

Clare appeared a moment later and gave him a smile. "Have you seen Eli yet?" she said as a way of greeting.

Adam shrugged in response. He stuffed his books away in his untidy locker, hoping Eli wouldn't mind ditching first period with him.

Clare leaned her back against the lockers, her attention still on him. She looked concerned. He glanced back, knowing she was about to start and shook his head slightly. She seemed to get the point.

"Actually, you might be able to help me out with this. Do you think Eli would freak if I asked him to a dinner with my parents?" she asked him.

"Clare," he replied honestly. "If he hasn't gotten cold feet yet, meeting your parents isn't gonna change his mind about you."

A smile tugged at her lips but it didn't manage to last long. "Still, they're a bit.. judgey, y'know? And Darcy's in town so everyone's a little on edge." she replied worriedly.

Adam shrugged. "I'm sure Eli won't hold it against you. Plus, you guys have gone through worse," he told her honestly.

Her expression froze suddenly, and it took her a moment to recover. "Yeah. Thanks." she said shortly and stalked off, dissapearing around the corner in seconds.

"Weird." Adam muttered, staring after her as he closed his locker.

It didn't look like Eli was showing up anytime soon so he sat by his locker, flipping through a comic until the bell went. Minutes later, the hall started piling with students and Adam didn't feel like getting trampled so he stood up at once.

Looking to his left, he saw Bianca talking to Owen, who seemed to be giving her some sort of lecture that was pissing her off. To his right, he finally spotted his best friend, who was looking stressed. Two options. Neither had spotted him yet.

* * *

Bianca was strutting down the halls of Degrassi when someone grabbed her arm. She looked up to see a pissed-looking Owen and she yanked her arm free. He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring. She mimicked the expression.

"What's this all about?" she snapped, her wandering eyes falling on the classroom door where a blue-eyed boy was walking through. He glanced over his shoulder at the last second, and they locked eyes. The boy was confused at the exchange himself and didn't linger in the doorway for long.

"That." Owen said pointedly, nodding his head towards the spot where Adam's head had just dissapeared.

"What about it?" Bianca said, daring him to continue.

"You're not actually into that little freak again, are you?" Owen countered. He said it sarcastically, as if it we're the most unbelievable thing, and Bianca wasn't surprised. Everyone knew Bianca Desouza hated Adam Torres, she'd made sure of that.

Still, Bianca found herself getting defensive. "Yeah, right. I like Adam Torres," she laughed, and the sound was only believable because it was so ridiculous. That didn't make it untrue, though.

Owen shrugged his shoulders, putting an end to the tense conversation. He nodded to her once, and headed in the other direction. "See you at lunch," he called over his shoulder lazily, and she found herself glaring in his direction.

Bianca hurried inside, shoving her bag on her desk and slumping down in her seat. She let out a loud sigh, feeling like hitting something. Fitch was standing at the front of the room, waiting on her to be silent.

"We were just in the middle of assigning partners for your assignments-" he said after a pause, and it seemed that most of the class was already paired off with the way no one was paying much attention to him. He cleared his throat, peering down at the paper in his hands, and read from the list of names.

"Adam Torres," he called, and Bianca sat up straighter. "You're partnered with.." He paused, dragging the moment out before he read the only available option left on the list. "Bianca Desouza."

Bianca sat there, honestly stunned for a moment, before she burst out without thinking, "You've got to be shitting me!"

She had the whole class' attention now. And she was positive Adam was now burying his head in the back row.

Fitch was beside himself. "Language like that is not tolerated at school, Bianca," he scolded, and several students began to snicker into their sleeves. "Principal's office. Now."

She rolled her eyes to the ceiling, regretting her words for once. She still, however, made a point of stomping her way out, taking extra care to slam the door as loudly as possible behind her.

* * *

_Now, normally Mondays tend to suck, but today just takes the cake_, Adam thought, staring after her, only slightly surprised by her outburst. This was the same as her refusing to be his ballroom dance partner last semester. Except this, thank goodness, required no touching. He was sure if Bianca was ever forced to put her hands anywhere near him, she'd end up doing severe damage. She'd have to get over this eventually; Fitch was a lot more strict than their old ballroom teacher.

He shared a tired look with Fitch, and the understanding teacher handed him a simple worksheet to work on while the rest of the class got started on the assignment.

"If you're still having problems getting her to work tomorrow, you can both do the assignment on your own, alright?" he told the boy sympathetically, and retreated to his desk.

Adam sighed, and worked quietly for the the rest of the period, trying to ignore the other students, still snickering and stealing glances at him. His mind wandered as it usually did in class...

_So_ he'd chosen Bianca. That didn't mean much. His mother would've killed him if she heard he'd skipped class and Clare sure as heck wouldn't have been impressed if he'd dragged Eli along. He admitted he honestly thought Bianca was changing. In her own, painfully slow and bitchy way.. he thought, _maybe _she was trying to make up for her actions. Maybe the girl who'd ripped open his shirt that day and yelled constant words of abuse and torment _wasn't_ who she really was... He thought, maybe.

It turned out that her weird actions this week weren't some weird switch in personality. It was honestly all in his head. And he thought _Clare_ had to see the best in people.

He couldn't be so naive next time, Adam promised himself. It was the only way he could ensure that Bianca couldn't manipulate her way into gaining his trust. He'd already gone down that road with Fitz and Owen and look how that turned out..? With Eli nearly getting stabbed at Vegas Night. No, he would only be that stubborn once. Bianca would have to wear him down if she wanted him to ever, _ever _trust her again.

"Speak of the devil.." Adam couldn't help but mutter under his breath when Bianca reappeared in the doorway, with a sour expression on her face. She sat in the empty chair beside him, crossed her arms, and refused to look his way. Adam tried not to laugh at her stubbornness. She noticed, however, and grimaced at the sight of his smile.

The lightness of the moment made him realize that he didn't actually hold a grudge against Bianca, however odd that sounded. It may have took him changing back to Gracie and burning himself to realize it, but he had. He was nearly shed of Gracie (minus the nightmares, which he told not even Drew about), his family and friends had finally accepted him.. He was just a regular, high school kid and he couldn't be happier. No matter how screwed up things might look right now, with Clare and Eli's drama, Drew not being the same without Alli, and every other drama that came with being a student of Degrassi, things we're better. Not even Bianca could bring that down.

He didn't trust her for a second, of course. But she didn't have the same effect on him that she used to. And she was starting to realize that. Maybe that was why she was so pissed of lately - he couldn't help but smile at the thought.

* * *

D: I'm so sorry for the delay! I know you waited forever for a chapter, I'm telling you now I'm not the most consistent writer. But here it is, so don't give up on me just yet! :P  
xxo,  
Desiree


	5. The Replacements

So it turned out, Clare was right. A scandal big enough to trump Adam's had swept through Degrassi. Jenna Middleton was pregnant with the football jocky, KC. Adam wasn't particularly interested in the gossip but still, although he felt terrible admitting it, it gave people someone new to start at. Even Owen seemed too caught up in teasing his teammate about his pregnant girlfriend to pay him much attention (there were fights breaking out in the locker room practically everyday now, according to Drew). Evidently, KC wasn't one to bottle up his emotions.

It was lunch now, and Adam was at his locker, putting away his books. He shoved on his beanie, glad to be out of class, just as Clare appeared. Eli was again no where in sight.

"Where's - ?" he started to ask but someone tackled him from behind. Adam was about to kick or hit whoever was pinning him to the ground when the person laughed and pulled him to his feet.

"Nerdboy." Eli greeted him, with a smirk on his face as usual. Adam had joined a club for Science when they came back from break, something Eli couldn't resist teasing him about. Adam wasn't bothered; the club gave him something to do whenever Eli and Clare decided they needed some alone time between classes to "talk."

"Gothboy." Adam replied slyly, and Eli proceded to steal and run away with his hat. They fought for a moment; however, all it took was Clare giving him an angry glare for him to give it back. Adam laughed at his friend's weakness and took his hat from Clare with a grin.

"No fighting in the halls, remember?" Clare scolded, but smiled at them all the same. "If Simpson sees you doing that, you'll be suspended again!"

"No worries, Clare-Bear. Simpson's got a meeting in his office, he won't be out for a while."

"How do you know he's got a meeting?" asked Adam.

"Because it's with me." Eli said easily, and Clare's eyes went wide.

"Oh no, what'd you do this time? You've got detention again, don't you? Oh Eli, you promised you'd stay out of trouble! What about dinner with my parents? I can't believe you would -" Clare ranted on while Eli's smirk grew more and more pronounced.

He cut her off. "Relax, Edwards. I was just going to talk to Simpson about what I could do to make up for my suspension. He's not too happy with me," Eli explained lightly to them.

"Oh," Clare said, letting out a breath. "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"I guess," Eli said, turning to leave. "Just hope I don't end up cleaning the gym floor with my toothbrush."

Adam shrugged. "Everyone's on thin ice with Simpson these days." he replied, thinking of Alli, Drew's official ex-ex-girlfriend. ..Or something like that.

Clare was speaking but something - or someone - had captured his full attention. A pretty brunette girl was walking by. Adam had never noticed her before; perhaps she was new here. She had dark, wavy hair that fell past her shoulders, pretty green eyes, and a great body from what he could tell. She made the school's dull uniform look great - _really_ great, in fact.

'Wow,' he thought to himself, staring at her reading a sign on the wall. "Who's that?" he asked Eli.

It was Clare who answered, who looked curiously at Adam. "Her name's Fiona. She's in one of my classes. She's in grade twelve, I think." she informed him.

Adam didn't reply. Eli laughed at his best friend. "Dude, she's like Bianca part two." he said.

"What does that mean?" Adam asked, distracted by the sight of her. _Fiona.. that was a pretty name._

"The hair, the eyes, the face? Oh come on, they could be sisters." Eli told him.

"You're overexaggerating. And besides, Bianca's eyes are brown, not green." he said, putting his bag over his shoulder. Eli's eyes narrowed accusingly.

"Whatever." he shrugged and smirked once as the brunette girl passed them. "Just don't fall in love yet, Grasshopper."

Eli's eyes flickered up to Clare's.

"Bye." Clare said quietly to Eli and Adam stared fixedly at the ceiling. It was one of those couple moments that it was weird to see happen between the two of his closest friends. But he was so used to this by now that he knew the best thing to do would be trying to fade into the background until the moment passed.

Eli reached out and held her hand for a moment, Clare linking her fingers with his tightly, and gave her a smile before he walked off.

"Where are you going?" Clare asked Adam when he left, seeing him start to follow Eli.

"Gotta hit the library, sorry Clare." he replied, feeling sort of bad for leaving her alone.

"What for?" she continued. Her smile was gone; she turned to locker and started rummaging through it, looking anywhere but at him. Okay, now he really felt bad.

"Fitch put me and Bianca together for some assignment, I've gotta go meet her." he said quickly as an explanation.

Clare closed her locker at once. "Bianca?" she said, and Adam wasn't too happy to hear the tone of concern in her voice.

"Look, it's for a _project. _I don't really have a choice," he said reasonably.

Clare chewed her lip for a moment, and then sighed. "Yeah, I guess. Just don't let her get to you, okay?" she said seriously.

"I won't." Adam replied simply and took off for the library after his friend.

* * *

"So," Bianca said confidently, leaning her back against the lockers so that he would find it hard to look elsewhere. "You up for it?"

KC swallowed, his eyes flickering from her body to her oddly devilish brown eyes and down the halls as if he thought his baby mama would appear any second. "I told you to get lost." he muttered, obviously not meaning a word of it.

She laughed quietly. "I remember your little friend Drew saying the _exact same thing _and look where that got him." she reminded sweetly. Bianca raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for an honest answer.

You might be wondering what could possibly possess her to go for KC when the last time she hooked up with a football player, she was awarded self-esteem tips and a crazy ex-girlfriend on her back. Well, with the bangs and the little knit-cap he sometimes wore, KC was like an older, jock version of Adam. Except KC had none of Adam's humour, charm, and genuineness - not to mention, the knocked-up girlfriend posed a pretty big problem. But she was determined to make Adam jealous.

She pulled him down to her by his collar and whispered in his ear, "I'll see you at four o'clock."

Bianca shoved him away from her with a smirk and strutted down the halls to the library where said Torres was sure to be waiting.

She never got tired of playing games; and this was one she was determined to win. At all costs.

* * *

Sorry again guys, I've been so caught up in school & fadam-shipping (the new promo: OMFG) that I haven't had much time to think about this story. adam notices Fi in this chapter but don't worry, even though I love Fadam, it's only a cause to make Bianca jealous, k?

Anyways.. I was watching Degrassi one night, the episode where Jenna takes those diet pills, and out of nowhere I noticed how similiar KC & Adam's looks are - with the hat and the hair? It's kinda scary o.o  
Of course, Adam makes it look so much cuter :P  
xxo

p.s. I think we're going to have to officially say goodbye to adam's adorable hats D: Stupid school rules -.-


	6. Jealousy

Okay, I changed their subject to History instead of Math, just so you know.  
Anyway i'll let you get on with the chapter. I've got two really important ones coming up next! & they're already written. but i want to space them out a bit so i'll give it a day before i post the next one. Please review, love you guys :)  
xxo

* * *

Bianca rounded the corner, on her way to the library, when she noticed Adam speaking to his friends at his locker. She started towards him before noticing exactly where his eyes were leading him.

Fiona Coyne, the infamous socialite who had been branded a total bitch practically the minute she'd arrived last year, was checking out Extra Curriculars on the sign-up board. Adam Torres, however, was checking out _her_.

Bianca turned on the spot and came back the way she'd come. _That stupid, stuck-up princess!_

She breathed in and reminded herself that she shouldn't care. Then an idea came to her.

The brunette passed Bianca obliviously. "Hey princess!" she called out and Fiona turned, her expression guarded.

"It's _Fi-o-na_." she said, enunciating the name.

"Whatever, listen. I hear you're having a party at your place tonight. Invite Drew Torres, from the football team. I heard he's into you now."

Fiona looked happy about that, but her eyes narrrowed. "What do you care? My friend says you used to like him." she said suspiciously, crossing her arms.

Bianca laughed once. "That's bull. Anyway, are you going to take my advice or not?" she asked, getting annoyed with the back and forth.

Fiona pondered over it for a moment. A smile slowly lit her face. "He really likes me?" she asked, biting her lip, and Bianca almost gagged. "Okay. Yeah, I'll invite him. Thanks, whatever-your-name-is!"

The brunette smiled kindly at Bianca once more and then strutted down the hall. Bianca still felt like tearing the extenstions from her pretty little head, but she thought, _Mission accomplished._ She even started to smile as she continued on her way to the library.

Except someone wasn't having that.

Owen stepped in front of her, forcing her to a halt. "What?" she snapped. He always ended up pissing her off everytime she saw him lately. "Move. I've got somewhere to be."

"_I know_," Owen sneered. "What's this I hear about you hanging with Torres again?"

"Get this through your tiny pea brain, Owen: I'm going to do a stupid project with my stupid history partner in the stupid library. Alright? Now _get out of my way_." she said, and stepped around him.

"Just remember _this_, Bianca. That kid isn't a boy, he's a freak. It wasn't so long ago I thought you used to think so too." he said, causing her to stop in her tracks, and then walked off down the hall.

* * *

Pushing open the door, Adam caught sight of Bianca with her headphones in, seated at a table alone. The library was originally his idea. He thought she was less likely to murder him in a public place where everybody knew them. Kidding.. Kinda. She _had_ seemed pretty angry all week, not to mention her previous words: _"Touch me again and I'll kill you"._

He gave a short wave to get her attention as he approached and slid into the seat next to her. She pulled the headphones from her ears and said nonchalantly, "Whatever. Let's just get this over with, I've got somewhere to be."

Adam rolled his eyes and didn't speak, shoving his bag down beside him.

Bianca was now taking her time to stow away her iPod, but it seemed more of an excuse not to look at him. Which was weird because, now that he thought about it, she never could look at him properly whenever they got close. Sure, she stole glances at him from across the cafeteria or in class or after school - true, they were mostly hateful glares - but this was different. Something was definitely up with her.. and now Adam was finding it equally difficult to look at her.

Quickly, knowing this was what Clare would describe as letting Bianca "get to him," he tried to recall the colour of Fiona's pretty eyes... Eli had said they were brown. Were they really brown? Wait, what was he talking about, he'd seen them himself! They were a chocolate brown, just like Bianca's. No, green.. No, blue, they were definitely blue.. Or.. Crap, he'd forgotten.

Bianca snapped her fingers in front of his face. "_Hellooo_?" she said, sounding annoyed. "Look, I'm not staying here if you're just gonna stare off into space. I've got better things to do, you know."

Adam tried to shrug it off, and grabbed his textbook from his bag. "Right. What are we supposed to do again?" he asked; he'd honestly forgotten that too in the last few minutes.

Bianca scoffed, but Adam's mind was still wandering. "You're so pathetic," she said and grabbed the textbook from his hands. She snapped it shut, capturing his full attention this time.

"Sorry, got something on my mind," he muttered, half to himself, and Bianca's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, well, 'something' isn't gonna help me pass Math, is she?" she said sharply, expecting Adam was thinking about that cute brunette chick she'd spotted him staring at on her way over here.

"She?" Adam asked, feigning confusion.

"_The assignment_ was to choose a topic set in the 1800's and write an essay about it." Bianca spoke over him, her voice louder as her annoyance grew. Which would only result in one thing - resorting to teasing him. "I'll handle the written work and you can do all the pretty decorating for the poster, mmkay?"

Bianca smiled but the expression was short-lived as she flipped open the texbook so forefully that it slid to the ground at her feet. She picked it up, slammed it back down, and dug her pencil in the page so hard, it snapped. Adam watched all of this silently and resisted the temptation to leave the room running.

"Funny." he muttered sarcastically and he could of sworn he saw her smile reluctantly before he turned away again. _Girls_, he thought to himself. He'd never understand them.

Her good humour was gone however when she said, "Forget it, I'll just do the project myself."

"And what am I supposed to tell Fitch when he asks who did the work?" he asked irritably.

"Not my problem, Torres." she said easily, scratching out a mistake with her pencil. Coincidentally, it was his name.

Adam stared at her down-turned face in disbelief, wondering why she'd agreed to help only to make his life hell. Well, he wasn't about to take this. He pushed back his chair, the sound it made earned him a scowl from the librarian, and left the table without looking back.

When the library door squeaked close, Bianca ran a hand through her voluminious curls, refusing to even look up. But her eyes were squeezing shut, and her pen was dropping, and depsite her best efforts, she was full of regret. It hurt to say goodbye to him. It hurt a lot.

A few moments of silence passed and she rose from the table. _Screw Owen,_ she thought to herself. She shoved open the door and hurried after him. He was wandering aimlessly down the deserted hallway.

"Adam!" she yelled at his back.

Her turned, exasperated. What could she possibly want _now_? Over and over again she would humiliate, tease, and bully him. And for _what?_Bianca approached him, glad that they were alone at the very least.

"Sorry," she blurted out after a pause. It wasn't much of an apology for her previous actions but still.

"For what?" he asked roughly, but he looked surprised. He wasn't letting her off easy.

Bianca opened her mouth to speak, then closed it tightly. Then opened it again. "For being a bitch." she finally said.

Adam laughed bitterly. "Thanks.. but, I don't believe that." he told her honestly.

"What don't you believe?" Bianca asked, her tone sharp.

"That your really a bitch beneath all that." Adam said, waving a hand at her. "You can be really cool sometimes when you let your guard down." He grinned at her despite himself.

Bianca didn't know what to say. A corner of her lips turned up unintentionally. "...Thanks." she replied after a while.

Adam nodded to her, no longer smiling. He was waiting for her to say something that would change them.

But she couldn't. She didn't deal with emotions well but this was just expecting too much.

The seconds ticked by as Adam waited for an answer that couldn't come. Bianca was trying to communicate the confusion she was feeling through her eyes but he refused to let her get away that easily.

Exasperated, he asked the question that had been circulating in his head for years, one he'd wanted to ask many people.

"Why do you hate me so much?" he asked her quietly.

_Because you drive me crazy_, she wanted to say. But instead she gave a weak version of her usual smirk and said, trying and failing to keep her voice from cracking, "Because I can."

Without another word, she left the hall and Adam was left staring after her bitterly.

That was a lie. Adam could realize that now. But he still didn't know what the truth was either.

* * *

_Look at him smirking_, Bianca was thinking to herself, staring daggers at him from across the classroom.

The truth. Bianca felt like telling the truth (something that she wasn't entirely used to and sure as hell didn't like). How she was so ashamed when she learned his secret that she had ever had feelings for Adam (still is, in fact) that she asked Fitz and Owen to "take care" of him so that no one would think twice of teasing her for liking the tranny kid.. How the wall she's spent years building up breaks a little whenever she's around him.. And how she wants him to feel as miserable as she does right now, unable to shake thoughts of him from her head.

Things were going to be a whole lot different from now on, that's for sure.


	7. Everybody Has Secrets

Now if this chapter doesn't surprise you, then i've done a pretty fail job with it lol  
Hope you enjoy, & please leave a review if you liked it :)  
-xxo

* * *

Sighing loudly, Bianca entered the kitchen and sat at the small table to do homework. Her heart picked up it's pace whenever her thoughts strayed to her conversation with Adam at lunch. She'd just become absorbed in fractions and decimals when the door reopened and her mother stepped in.

"Don't be late today, B. Donny's coming to visit and he wants to see you too."

Bianca's heart went cold. There was silence in the small room. "Is this an all-night thing?" she asked blandly.

"_Yes_," her mother said testily. She pulled her back into a messy bun. "Now I've got to head back to work for an extra shift, are you gonna be alright by herself?"

"Yeah whatever, just go." Bianca answered, returning to her homework, her mind now buzzing with dreadful memories.

"Alright," her mother agreed, only slightly concerned and walked out into the hallway.

Bianca stayed frozen in her seat for a moment before she followed.

"Why is he coming again?" she asked, closing the kitchen door behind her, leaning back against the wood.

Although she'd tried to hide it, Mrs. DeSousa heard the attitude behind her question. "Why do you always do this? He's a _nice guy_, B. It wouldn't kill you to give him another chance." she said, exasperated.

Bianca reminded her of the parts of Donny's stays her mother knew. "He _hit you_, mom! Why are you back with him?" she snapped, angry at her mother's stupidity. She was so easy; the men in her life always had control, it was pathetic to watch.

Her mom raised her eyes to the ceiling and sighed. "That was one time, Bianca. He's been taking anger management classes and he's really turning his life around for me. I decided to give another chance, respect that."

Bianca looked away, drawing a breath. Her mother was decided; Donny had snuck his way back into her mother's heart again and now there was no changing her mind. Bianca met her mother's eyes and nodded.

Bianca's mother smiled, shouldering her purse. "That's my B. Be a good girl, I love you." she called, waving as she exited the house.

Bianca smirked. A good girl.

She stared at the closed door, seeing all it's cracks and imperfections, feeling humouressly at one with the broken wood. Eventually, the smirk faded into something dangerously like tears and she trembled from head to foot. Slowly, she walked down the hall and found the first empty space she could and slipped inside. She kicked boxes out of her way and slid to the floor in the tiny closet, reaching up to turn the lock.

Here, she listened for his arrival.

Donny was her mother's first long-term relationship since her father, who walked out on them when Bianca was four months old. She was thirteen when they met at a bar way out of town and her mother thought she was in love. How anyone could love a cheater, abuser, and a drunk who had eyes only for their under-age daughter was beyond her..

If only her mother knew.

Bianca folded her arms over her chest, pulling her knees up in the tight space. She was hidden completely, just the way she liked it. If only there wasn't school to worry about, she could stay here forever.

Only one person could penetrate her thoughts right now. She thought maybe, if he was here, she wouldn't feel this fear that was taking over her body. He could help her, right? Adam could help. Only the desperation of this moment could make her run to him for anything.

Bianca rose from her spot, fully anticipating the look of concern in his blue eyes, but a loud noise stopped her. A door slammed and she heard voices. So it was too late... Bianca breathed in. She didn't need a boy to be strong. She didn't need anyone. She could be strong all on her own.

Her mother's voice rang out in the silence. "Bianca!" she called happily, her heels clacking on the hardwood, echoing.

She opened the door silently, walking out of the closet like it was no big deal. Mrs. DeSousa blinked, surprised, and smiled; brighter than she had in months. Bianca noticed her mother's mousy brown hair was now flowing perfectly over her shoulders and the sleezy red lipstick she wore, and almost rolled her eyes.

She refused to look at Donny.

Bianca brushed past them to the kitchen and waited speechlessly for dinner. Her mother set the table, giggling and smiling at him like she was still in high school, and Donny sat opposite her, waiting patiently for her mother to fix him his dinner as always. Maybe he was trying to catch her eye, she didn't look up from her empty plate to check.

She chewed her food, bite after bite, only so she wouldn't have to speak. The time came when he tried to direct the conversation to Bianca but Bianca's mother was so desperate for his attention that it never lasted long.

"How's school, Bianca?" Donny asked, unaffected by her pointed silences.

She stared daggers at the food on her fork, but everyone was waiting for an answer. "Fine," she retorted, speaking to her plate.

"Really? I hear Degrassi's one of the top school's in the-" Donny began.

"Mom, can I be excused? I have places to be." she said, hearing the screech of her chair against the hardwood as she left the table without waiting for an answer.

She had to escape this house.

She heard Donny mutter something to her mother quietly and Bianca dashed down the hall to the door but he caught her wrist before she got to it.

"B, please. I'm trying to make everything better, can't you see that?" he begged shamelessly and Bianca ripped her hand from his grasp.

"Don't touch me," she growled. "And don't call me that." She threw herself out the door before he could stop her. She was sure him and her mother would fight over this, because he didn't get what he wanted, what he came for. And she was sure her mom would fight with her about it when he left in the morning.

Bianca shivered in her small t-shirt; winter was definitely on it's way. She slammed the door behind her and ran down the street, ignoring the world. She was scared inside that house and felt exposed out here. Her sneakers slapped the pavement and sent spurts of water at her from the morning's rain, but she couldn't care less. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were burning; she was holding in tears and it was getting harder and harder to keep it bottled up.

The pavement eventually turned to grass and she reluctantly stopped running, putting her hands on her knees to keep herself balanced. She was coughing, trying to catch her breath. Not having looked around, she'd figured she was alone. It was only until she realized that the wetness on her cheeks were tears and not rain after all did she notice the prescence of a boy she knew very well.

"Bianca?" the soft voice said.


	8. The Truth

Adam was kicking the dirt beneath him. What would it take for his mom to realize he didn't always need her protection? He wanted to be treated like Drew, not like he was "special" or different and needed extra care because he happened to be transgendered.

So he'd gotten bullied before, _so what?_ he thought angrily. His mother had overreacted as usual, but this time it was over something so stupid! He'd taken many walks in his spare time, to think or just because he had nothing better to do, and this time was no different. It wasn't like Fitz was going to break out of jail and jump him in the middle of the street. And Fitz was really his only problem. Or at least, his only violent one. Everyone else at school who had a problem just sent him weird looks and made snide comments about him whenever he was around.

But his mother had refused to let him leave the house tonight. He would have let it go, but Drew trudged down the stairs moments later - gloating cheerfully at how Fiona Coyne had invited him to some fancy party at her place - and Adam felt it was all too unfair when Mrs. Torres just let him go, glad that Drew was interested in someone other than that "nasty Alli girl."

Adam sighed now, still a little let down that Drew was at a party with Fiona while he was.. here. He kicked the dirt some more.

On any other night like this, Adam would head over to Eli's and they would have a blast and he would forget all about his parents and his sometimes stuck-up, sometimes awesome brother and his lady troubles. But Eli was with Clare tonight, meeting her parents. Adam hoped that went well; honestly, his two best friends didn't need _any more_ drama keeping them apart, no matter how much a third wheel he was quickly becoming.

Distant coughs brought his attention back to his surroundings and he saw a familiar girl approaching the park at full-speed. She was running as if her life depended on it but as she hit the grass, her body seemed to lose the fight. Her knees bent as she tried to catch her breath. That's when he noticed the tears and realized what he seeing.

Bianca, clearly distraught, looking more human than he'd ever seen her, was crying uncontrollably in a very public place. She'd clearly left in a hurry.

"Bianca?" The word was out of his mouth before he could stop himself and the brunette's head snapped up.

Great. If only he had just walked away before she noticed him here, he could avoid the awkward conversation that was bound to happen now.

Bianca was just staring at him. Her brown eyes were widened. They were mere feet apart and neither of them knew what to say. Adam was stunned to see she had emotions and Bianca was too...(embarassed? angry? devastated?)...stunned that he had caught her like this.

"Wow, you're..crying." he observed, looking so surprised it was as if he thought she didn't have tear ducts.

"Nice distinction," she muttered sarcastically, trying to muster up some sort of defense; she was looking pretty pathetic at the moment.

He approached her slowly, as if she were a stray cat that might claw him to death if he made any sudden movements. "Now there's the_ why _that I'm still not sure about." he continued slowly when he was sure it safe. Normally, she would have slapped him for prying but right now she didn't have that kind of energy.

She hadn't stop crying, but the tears were at the very least falling silently down her cheeks. "Everyone has secrets, Adam." she said blankly, staring at the ground.

"Yeah," he said after a pause. "But since when does Bianca DeSousa run away from her problems?" He said it in a joking manner but his eyes were serious. He was still in shock from seeing her like this.

She stared silently at him, her eyes calculating. They were, sort of, friends now. So that meant whatever she said stayed between them no matter what, right? That was what friends did. Bianca thought for once of what Adam's life at Degrassi had been like and thought whether it made him trustworthy. He had so much to gain by exposing her secrets and insecurities to everyone, so what really was there to gain by telling him the truth?

_Peace of mind,_ she answered in her head and her next sob was like a laugh.

"You don't have to tell me," Adam muttered then, looking apologetic.

"Shut up," Bianca told him, but her tone was soft. She was regaining some of her strength but the words weren't easy to say. It was terrifying, looking into his eyes and knowing he would be able to take what she was about to say. Because it left her with no reason not to go on.

Adam nodded, patiently waiting.

"My dad left when I was three," she began, and her voice cracked. "He was my best friend and he just took off one night. I didn't understand why. They yelled a lot before then but I wasn't expecting that. And then my mom went a bit overboard, you know. Drugs, booze, all that. She missed my dad, I think, but she moved on when she met Donny. He knew just how to get to her, so she would look past every bad thing he did. He didn't love her. He didn't even want her. I was only thirteen then but every time he would stay over, he would try to creep into my room when my mom fell asleep-" Adam's breath sucked in, anticipating what was next. Bianca's voice was a whisper now. "Nothing ever happened, though, thank God. My mom always came to find him before anything could or I would yell her name really loudly so she would come find me. He never got many opportunities; they broke up more times than I can count... I think she suspected it - he always favoured me a little bit too much - but she didn't want to believe it. She let her _daughter _be touched by that piece of filth and she did nothing! _Nothing!_"

Bianca yelled the last part, her anger revealing itself.

"It's like she cared more about him than her own - " Bianca couldn't go on for a moment, her every thought just spilling out now. "Why does every parent in my life hate me?" she asked to no one in particular.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Her secret was out. Adam Torres, of all people, knew her deepest thoughts and her darkest secrets. _This is what happens when you trust people,_ she thought grudgingly.

But Adam was still recovering, processing what she'd just told him. "Bianca, I - I'm sorry." he said, at a loss for words.

She snorted. Bianca knew he was trying to be sincere but it was just so pathetic. Her body seemed to command her attention then as she gave a violent shudder; she was freezing.

"Oh. Here," Adam said, giving her his sweater, glad of something to help. She pulled it on slowly and then hugged her arms tightly around herself.

She could say thank you, but maybe that was expecting too much again; It went without saying, she appreciated the gesture, knowing it was just his personality to be this kind.

Adam seemed to be caught in a bit of a dilemma anyway; He took a step toward her, seeing her shiver so uncontrollably, then a step back, knowing she'd probably kill him if he tried to console her.

Back, then forward, then back again, until she couldn't take it anymore.

"For fuck's sake, you can give me a hug if you want to so bad." she snapped at him, but really she felt like laughing. As usual, he understood and didn't take to heart her words.

He stepped close enough to make her heart go a little nuts. She didn't remember it being this bad a few days ago...

Adam seemed a little paralyzed as well - or maybe just unsure of how exactly to hug her.

Her head was spinning in double-time, and every thought she'd forbidden from entering her mind let loose at once. He was as lost in this moment as she was.

She needed someone badly. And not just someone. Someone sweet and kind and sincere. Someone who understood her, who could break through her tough exterior and make her melt. It couldn't be just anyone; there was a lesson behind her feelings for Adam. The someone she needed wouldn't come easily. He had to help her overcome her fear of letting people in. Adam was perfect.

Truthfully, he scared her silly. He'd taken away her options with the way she was gradually becoming powerless to him. This "crush" was taking her over and she couldn't stop it. It was more than she could take to admit that it was so far beyond that at this point.

The flow of tears froze as her breath caught. She knew what was to happen now.

Adam pressed his lips to hers. His honest blue eyes seemed to change in the heat of the moment; no longer self-concious and blindingly innocent, but smoldering.

KC who?


	9. Sweet Dreams

Bianca hesitated outside his house.

"You can stay here tonight, just as long as my parents don't find out. Or Drew." Bianca cringed, picturing it. "Yeah, they'll be pissed. And I'm _guessing_, you don't want people to find out about this, so.." Adam trailed off and didn't wait for her to object. He walked up to the front door and opened it slowly, both of them cringing as the door creaked.

He held the door open for her. Bianca's thoughts still lingered on his words. Someone would find out about this, she was sure of it. And they would most definitely get the wrong idea about what was going on. She argued with herself silently, knowing she didn't have many other options at the moment.

"Come on," Adam grumbled when she didn't move. He grabbed her wrist, surprising her, and he lead her toward the stairs as quietly as possible. Noises stopped him in his tracks and both their eyes went wide.

"Go, go, go!" Adam whispered frantically. "First door on the right, quick!"

He shooed her up the stairs and then turned in the direction of the kitchen where his parents were now appearing.

"_Adam Torres_, where the hell have you been?" Mrs. Torres shouted as soon as her tired eyes caught sight of him. He let go of the railing and stepped towards them grudgingly. "We have been worried sick! Do you know what time it is?"

"Um..late?" he answered innocently and Bianca laughed, hidden around the corner at the top of the stairs. She clapped a hand over her mouth and continued on her way. She slid inside the room he'd told her without turning on the light. She left the door open a bit, and listened.

Downstairs, Adam was now getting a rather serious lecture.. Most of which he payed attention to; his eyes kept flickering up the staircase and he only hoped his parents didn't read too much into that.

"-grades have dropped, storming out, and now you're staying out past curfew!" Mrs. Torres was saying, sounding exasperated. "I don't know what to do with you."

Adam hesitated, biting his tongue. Did he really want to get in _more _trouble?

"And not to mention that _boy _you're hanging around with. He's such a bad influence, and I honestly don't think you should be spending so much ti-" his mother continued.

Now that was going too far. "You can't keep treating me like a kid!" he shouted back suddenly. "What about Drew? Or haven't you noticed that he's not home yet? If it was me, you'd have called the cops by now!"

"I'm just," Mrs. Torres said, "_worried _about you. What you're going through isn't easy and I just-"

"I'm not a kid," he repeated even more loudly. "And I'm not going throughanything. Face it, you're dissapointed because I'm not the 'perfect daughter' you wanted, right? This has nothing to do with my _safety_ and you know it."

Mr. Torres spoke up now. "Adam, you know that's not fair. Your mother and I have a right to worry about you. Maybe we.. over-stepped it a bit tonight. But after what happened before at that school dance, and even before that, with your Grandmother coming to visit.." he said reasonably, trying to mediate the situation.

Adam crossed his arms, refusing to comment on that subject.

Mrs. Torres was silent for once too. She looked back at her husband, as if it were difficult to look at her son. She breathed in unsteadily, still looking away, and Adam shook his head. His mother would never get over this.

"I'm going to bed." he stated tonelessly. Mr. Torres called his name but he ignored it, taking the stairs two steps at a time. He turned the corner and opened his bedroom door to see Bianca, lounging on his bed and not bothering to hide herself in case it wasn't him. He couldn't resist slamming the door behind him just to piss off his mother.

"Geez," Bianca commented when he flicked on the light, "What happened to you?" Adam gave her a look. She didn't hesitate to throw one back at him. They glared at each other for a moment before breaking into equally reluctant smiles.

"Okay, fine. You win." Adam muttered, leaning back against the door and staring at the floor.

"I'm guessing you heard all that?" he asked after a moment.

Bianca shrugged. "Wasn't exactly trying to, but.." she replied, staring at the comforter rather than him.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I knew they'd be mad, but ever since Vegas Night they've been ..." Adam shook his head. "I just, don't want to be treated differently.. That's it. I didn't used to think that was so much to ask." Bianca looked away again and they lasped into silence.

She blinked now, and it took a moment for her to re-open her eyes. Tonight's events were really taking a toll on her...

"You're probably tired. You can take the bed if you want, I'll sleep on the couch." Adam said now, suddenly eager to get out of her way. Bianca watched him as he gathered blankets and such, refusing to start thinking about everything until she was well away from Adam.

His back was turned, rifling through his closet for a moment and Bianca's mouth seemed to be glued shut. She parted her lips and took a small breath; This was harder than she thought.

"_Thank you_," came a soft, quiet and sincere voice that was so unlike her own it surprised them both.

He looked back at her for a moment, kind of stunned and she felt like rolling her eyes again.

They stared at each other from across the room, and for a moment Bianca thought he was going to kiss her again. But after a few agonizing seconds, he merely shrugged.

In the distance, she heard a door close and knew that the other Torres brother was finally home. Adam went to the door and listened for the sounds that meant his brother had snuck up the stairs and into his bedroom. When all was quiet, he nodded to Bianca, looking satisfied that they hadn't been caught. Bianca stood to prepare for bed as well.

"Try anything and you're dead," she warned him and he rolled his eyes. She let his jacket drop to the floor and started to pull of her t-shirt, revealing the thin tank top that was underneath. His eyes lingered on her for a second, then muttered a quick, "Goodnight." and left the room quickly.

Bianca stood there for a moment, staring at the door where he'd just dissapeared with a hesitant smile threatening. This wasn't so bad, being with Adam. Even if they were just friends. (_Friends that couldn't afford to be seen in public together_, the voice in her head corrected, but she ignored that for now...)

She sat on the edge of his bed, letting herself be happy for a moment. Because for sure she would spend tonight, awake and terrified that she would wake up to the sound of heavy footsteps creeping closer to her bed like all those years ago. But for a while, she allowed herself to smile and hold on to any shred of peace she had left.

Bianca ran her fingers along the sheets and dug her nails into the dark fabric, clinging to it. She felt safe here. It was disconcerting to think how huge a difference Adam's presence made...

But vivid memories were coming on strong and she couldn't supress them much longer. Her mom was probably worried by now; it was late. Was Donny gone already? It wouldn't surprise her if he'd stormed out immediately after she'd left.

She unclenched her fingers from the sheets and got beneath the covers, pulling them tight around her shoulders. Bianca shivered and squeezed her eyes shut. Unfortunately, that made the tears she hadn't noticed before roll down her cheeks.

Bianca tried her hardest to keep her thoughts safely in this room but it was quickly becoming unbearable. She opened her eyes and pulled in a shaky breath. She couldn't help but feel relieved that she wasn't home right now.

Why did he have to come back? More importantly, why was her mother so blind that she couldn't see what a monster he was. And Bianca would have to go home soon... Relive the days of her childhood she'd only just begun to block from her memory, because of a certain beanie-wearing tenth-grader. She didn't know if she could handle it...

Bianca eventually grew tired and it was suddenly difficult to keep her eyes open. She welcomed the break from reality sleep provided but realized too late that she wouldn't be enjoying sweet dreams anytime soon.


	10. Good Mornings

"Good morning," said a quiet voice, and Bianca's eyes fluttered open. She squinted against the bright morning light.

It was him, of course. Kneeling beside the bed and gazing down at her. Amazingly, he was already wearing his signature beanie, this early in the morning.

Bianca felt herself involuntarily smile up at him. "Hey," she replied, her voice little over a whisper.

Generally confused now, Bianca had to break away from his eyes. She looked down, only to see his navy sheets covering her... _bare_ skin?

She lifted the material slightly and looked down.

"Oh my God," she muttered weakly, pressing a hand to her forehead and closing her eyes. "What the fuck did we do last night?"

Adam snorted. "What do you think we did?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

He was grinning and Bianca felt like slapping him senseless. Instead she fell back onto the bed, clutching the fabric to her body to keep covered.

She couldn't even remember what happened, for God's sakes!

"Oh no, oh no, oh no.." She moaned repeatedly, burying her head under the covers.

A sudden gust of wind surprised Bianca; the cold air touched her exposed arms. She lifted the pillow covering her face.

The room was dark. Her eyes strayed automatically to the open window.

Bianca took a long draught of air, sitting up in bed. _Thank God. It was only a dream,_ she thought to herself, with only a hint of dissapointment.

Then she looked around slowly, reality sinking in. _What was she doing here?_

Sleeping in Adam's bed? Allowing him to kiss her in the park? _Dreaming_ about him? She needed a reality check. And fast.

Bianca threw back the covers, still half surprised that she was fully clothed. She threw on her t-shirt and sneakers, and tip-toed down the stair as fast as she could without disturbing the sleeping boy on the living room couch. Bianca hesistated, but only for a second, as she passed the doorway that led to him but continued on her way shortly, slipping out the front door.

At the sound of the door slam, Adam tossed in his sleep but didn't wake. He was not having a pleasant night either._  
_

* * *

Adam shot up from the couch that morning, his breathing irregular. He'd had another stupid nightmare. Clare was yelling in a very non-Clare fashion that Eli almost getting stabbed was all his fault, while Eli, Drew, Bianca, Fitz, and his mother and stepfather watched from the sidelines. They all looked at him in disgust, and he was reminded of the first day back in school after everyone had found out about him: the stares, the whispers, and most effectively, the bruises. It seemed silly to Adam that he was still lingering on these thoughts when everyone else seemed to have moved on, but he had a feeling he would never fully shake them.

And there was also Bianca.

She starred in most of his unconcious thoughts, as a result of the night before. And most of the dreams, he admitted, were pleasant. Some were more simple, dreams in which they were dating and everything was uncomplicated. But then Fitz or Eli always appeared out of nowhere and ruined it all. And some were more complex, where Bianca would speak to him crypticly about life and the way she smiled scared him in his sleeping state. The second he would start to question her, she would begin to back away and his legs seemed glued to the ground beneath him because he couldn't move an inch to follow her.

He hadn't had a peaceful night.

Adam threw off the blanket and, remembering why exactly he was on the couch and not in his bed, raced up the stairs quickly. He narrowly missed colliding with his step brother as he rounded the corner.

"You're up early." Drew commented as he passed.

"Yeah, I guess." Adam muttered, trying to duck past him.

Drew didn't move, he just looked at Adam oddly. "In a hurry?" he asked slyly, sounding accusatory.

Adam raised his eyebrows. "Good morning to you too." he replied sarcastically. "What's up?" Drew was studying him with his eyes narrowed.

He shrugged, looking at his little brother levelly. It was odd, at this time in the morning, to see Drew so serious. "Look, what's going on with you and Bianca? Owen says he saw you two hanging out at the library, what's up with you two?" he asked.

Adam just rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid, Andrew. Bianca hates my guts. "

"Just hear me out," Drew pressed him reasonably. "Whatever you're doing with Bianca, stop while you're ahead. You don't need her to mess things up for you when things are finally getting back to normal."

Adam couldn't help but grin at his older brother. "You should really learn to take your own advice." he replied, brushing past him.

But Drew held him back. Adam's smile fell once he saw the humour of the situation hadn't reached him. "I'm serious, Adam. She's bad news." Drew said.

"Fine, I'll..keep my distance, alright?" Adam muttered, suddenly ticked off at his brother's overprotectiveness. If Drew had asked _his_ opinion on Vegas night, he would have told him the same. But like the reliable brother he was, he'd kept his mouth shut.

"Alright." Drew replied simply, just glad that he seemed to have gotten through to him, and dissapeared down the hall.

Adam stood there for a moment, fuming. No way was he going to take his brother's advice, Drew was such a hypocrite. Oh, it was fine for _him _to go as far as hooking up with Bianca when he had a girlfriend, but for Adam, he couldn't even speak to her without getting some kind of lecture..

He opened his bedroom door tentatively, expecting to get yelled at for not knocking first.

But his bed was completely empty. Adam took a step into the room slowly, looking around, but Bianca was no where in sight. He let out a sigh, and his hand fell from the doorknob to his side.

Just as he'd expected, she was gone. She'd changed her mind once again.

As he got ready for school, he started to hope that maybe she'd just left early so as not to tip off Drew or his parents but something told him that wasn't the case. It wasn't as if they were a couple now because of what happened but he knew Bianca well enough to know she was scared. Scared of being with him and scared of admitting that their might be something between them.

By the time they reached Degrassi, Adam was refusing to speak to Drew. He slammed the car door shut behind him and marched up the school steps without looking back. 


	11. Caught

_Fiona giggled. Drew wasn't half bad. She'd have to remember to thank that Bianca for setting her up with him._

_He was charming and flirtatious and most of all, _fun_. God, he was fun. Drew had a gentleness about him that Bobby never had. A total gentleman._

_She placed her hand lightly on his neck and felt him press himself closer to her in response. Their chests melted into one another and Fiona pulled him down to her, placing a soft first kiss on his eager lips. She could get used to this._

_One kiss become many more._

_Their intertwined bodies fell back and Fiona's back fell against a tree, causing her to giggle again. She only hoped that the town was fast asleep. She broke free of his kisses and breathed out into the crisp winter air. Her breaths made puffs of smoke and she opened her eyes to take in her surroundings._

_They were mostly hidden from view, beneath a tree on the sidewalk. It was difficult to see much in the dark, and the wine didn't exactly help her vision, but she could make out two shadowed figures on the front lawn of Drew's home. The girl she recognized immediately with a smile. The boy she identified only by description. She knew them both individually, but it was quite possibly the strangest sight to see them together in one place._

_The boy was going inside. At first, Fiona thought the girl was going to turn and leave as she expected, but after a moment, the boy took hold of her wrist and pulled her inside along with him._

_Fiona's lips parted in surprise. No. _Way._ This was quite possibly the juiciest bit of gossip she'd ever laid hands on. Adam Torres and Bianca DeSousa..._secretly together?

_She started to tell Drew, deciding he should be the first to know (since it was his step-brother after all), but he captured her in a heated kiss again and she was distracted for the time being. I guess it'll have to wait... The words slipped from her mind as she gave her full attention to the kiss._

_Oddly her mind was lingering on Adam. He was quite cute...despite his complications. She smiled into the kiss._

* * *

Fiona blinked, disoriented, and took in her surroundings. She was in Degrassi's cafeteria, seated at a table full of used-to-be strangers: Drew's football teammates and their girlfriends. They seemed friendly enough but weren't who she would normally hang around with. She had a hard time believing she was capable of having actual, true friends - that didn't include Declan or any of his Exes.

But, for the time being, she was glad to be where she was.

Drew was beside her, with his arm wrapped proudly around her waist as she pushed the food around her plate absentmindedly. She smiled at him.

"Welcome back," he teased.

"Thanks," she replied sarcastically, glancing down at her tray.

"You seem distracted.. What's up?" he asked pleasantly. He held her hand now and she examined how it felt. It made her feel happy to have a boyfriend; someone to hold her hand and send her sweet little love notes and give her shameless kisses out of nowhere. And it also made her happy that someone felt affectionate toward her...But that was it.

She looked up at Drew's smiling face, trying to sum up some sort of feeling for him. But it wouldn't come.

Still, there were more important things at hand than her absent emotions.

"It's your brother." She got Drew's attention at once. His brows furrowed and he seemed suddenly guarded. "Nothing bad," she reassured him. "I don't want to get him in trouble or something, it's just, I thought you'd want to know."

"Know what?" he asked apprehensively after a pause.

Fiona bit her lip. Should I tell him? the thought raced through her mind as Drew looked at her expectantly.


	12. All Or Nothing

Still angry at Bianca, Adam entered the art room reluctantly, wishing he was anywhere else. But there was a new girl in the always-empty seat beside him. She was gazing dissaprovingly at the doodles on his desk, shaking her head silently.

"It's art," he said slyly over her shoulder as he approached her. "That's what you're supposed to do."

She raised her eyebrows and simply responded, "It's _unclean_," enunciating the word carefully.

Adam smiled in response, sitting beside her.

"It's Adam, right?" she asked, smiling now too. "You're Drew's brother."

"Yup." he replied lightly. "And you're Fiona Coyne?"

"How did you guess?" she mock-answered with a dazzling smile. Then laughed.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as the art teacher called the class to order.

Fiona's cheek rested on her palm as she listened attentively to the teacher discussing the assignment of the week. Adam stole glances at her every once in a while, not really paying attention to his work. They were making pottery out of clay. Art class was pretty lame, Adam thought, but the company was nice. Better than nice, in fact.

He wasn't planning on betraying Drew now that they were apparently going out, but she was really something. Beautiful, of course. But she treated him just as she treated any other boy, and he hoped they could become friends. (Friends with your brother's girlfriend, now _that _didn't spell trouble, he thought to himself.)

Fiona turned and gave him a smile, making him accidently crush his pot between his hands. He looked down at the lump of clay on his desk and groaned. She laughed and shook her head, returning her gaze to her own perfect pot. Drew was a lucky guy.

"So I hear you went out with my brother last night," he asked lightly. "How was it?"

"It was great, actually." Fiona beamed, then leaned in closer to him, as if to tell him a secret no one was supposed to know about. His heart pattered. "Say thanks to Bianca for me."

Adam's smile faltered. "What?"

"Yeah. She's the one who hooked us up. It was really sweet of her," she said earnestly.

Adam was silent for a long moment. "Wow," he muttered. "That's..great."

He was extremely confused at the moment. Since when did Bianca play match-maker for anyone? Was this her way of paying her debts with Drew? Or was there some other reason? Then again, every out-of-character thing she'd done all week had somehow come back to him... He pondered over this for a long moment.

"So," Fiona said now, snapping him out of his reverie. She was carefully removing plastic gloves, her work done. "How is Bianca?"

"What do you mean?" Adam asked, wary.

Fiona plastered on a look of honest confusion. "Aren't you two together?"

"N-no, why would you think that? We hate each other," Adam sputtered unconvincingly.

"Oh," she replied, feigning surprise. "Really? Because I saw the two of you together at your house last night and I just thought-" Fiona stopped then, shrugging.

"You.._saw _us." he said, defeated. Fiona simply nodded, and he was relieved to see no judgement in those mesmerising eyes nor hurt that he hadn't just told her the truth from the beginning.

"It isn't what you think though," he continued on quickly. "She just..needed a place to crash for the night."

"Ah." Fiona replied, giving nothing away. "Sorry I jumped to conclusions." Adam couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not.

Adam shrugged again. "Just..don't mention this to Drew, okay? He'd freak."

"No worries," she said with a smile. "My lips are sealed."

They were both silent for a moment, Adam lost in his thoughts.

"Me and Bianca, though? That's ridiculous," he said now, laughing for real this time. Fiona smiled along with him but with a mischevious twinkle in her eye.

"Seems like a lot of nice for two people who hate each other," Fiona said slyly.

Adam couldn't respond.

Fiona laughed, watching him freeze up. "I'm kidding," she said easily. "If you say there's nothing going on, then I believe you."

She gave him a reassuring smile, which he did his best to return, and happily went back to her work, leaving Adam to wonder.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. Whatever Fiona had decided about them, it didn't look like she was going to change her mind anytime soon.

* * *

Fiona glanced over at Adam. He was doodling on his desk again, having completely forgotten the lecture she'd just given him. She smiled, shaking her head. Adam was so clueless - but in an endearing way. She was glad now, that she hadn't told Drew about him and Bianca being together. Not because Adam had told her it wasn't true - she wasn't stupid, he was obviously hiding something - but because if she had, she might never have become friends with this sweet, confusing boy. _And what a loss that would have been_, she thought, as he looked up and smiled back.

* * *

Adam started at the sound of chairs scraping the floor, glancing up to see everyone leaving. He grabbed his backpack and followed the crowd pouring into the hall.

Fiona waited for him at the doorway.

"I'll see you later," she said with another of her stunning smiles. "Bye Adam." He gave a short wave as she turned to go. She glanced back at him from amongst the crowd, still standing at the door where she'd left him, and winked.

He couldn't help it - he smiled hugely, walking the opposite way to hide it. This was stupid of him. Very, very stupid. What if his brother had seen that? He really didn't need Drew thinking he was trying to steal his new girlfriend.

Adam looked up, his smile falling as he spotted someone staring from across the hall. Mostly everyone had dispersed, having been late getting out for lunch, but there were still a few students wandering the hallway. One of them being Bianca Desousa, who'd just seen too clearly that exchange between him and Fiona.

Their eyes caught, and before he could say a word, she'd turned around and stalked off. He rushed after her, not knowing why since she'd made herself pretty clear this morning, and they ended up in the deserted hallway beside the auditorium.

Adam caught her sleeve and Bianca was forced to a stop.

She pursed her lips and stared hard at the ceiling. "_Look_," she snapped. "I don't do relationships, okay? So if that's what you want, you might as well get lost."

Adam looked at her, his expression one of disbelief. "What?" he said blankly.

"I'm not going to pretend like we could ever be in a normal relationship or something, so why don't we just quit while we're ahead?" she said, still not looking at him.

_"What?" _he repeated, more forcefully.

"I thought I made it pretty clear the first time around that I _don't_ like you. And yet you-" She stopped before she mentioned the kiss. It would be better for everyone if they just forgot it ever happened. No one had witnessed it, after all. Maybe it hadn't happened.

"Are you saying you didn't want me to kiss you last night?" he asked dubiously, and Bianca blinked, trying in vain to keep her expression cold.

"Why can't you just leave it?" she hissed, leaning toward toward him, glaring. She hadn't answered the question.

He fumed. Implying that the kiss was one-sided was expected but the whole reason he was even in this mess was because she couldn't seem to be able to leave him be. Even when he had honestly moved on.

"Because the second I try to forget what happened with us, you freak out! What am I supposed to do?" he said angrily.

He had long since stopped caring what Bianca thought about him but the last few days had him wondering if maybe - after all that they'd been through - they could at least be friends. Last night had proved they had it in them to become more but that didn't seem to be on Bianca's agenda.

"This is yourfault." she deadpanned, her lips set in a firm line.

"This is _your_ fault, I was perfectly happy ignoring your existence."

"Oh yeah? Then what was last night all about?" she retorted, glaring.

"You tell me." he snapped, annoyed that she was trying to pin it all on him.

"Uh, _you_ kissed_ me_?" Bianca reminded him, her arms firmly crossed.

"Yeah well, you didn't seem all that bothered by it last night." he said shortly, looking away.

"That's because I was too upset to-" Bianca, deciding she shouldn't remind him, snapped her mouth shut and just left the sentence hanging.

Adam bit his lip, holding back the useless words he wanted to shout at her. It was all just empty bickering. Her words triggered the memory of a fragile Bianca, with tears rolling down her cheeks, for once not pushing him away. He couldn't seem to gather up any hate for that girl. But Bianca had shut that girl away, as always. It killed her to seem weak.

Bianca thought carefully about what she was going to say next. Normally she'd say whatever came to mind, however horrible it may be. But this was different; this mattered. She honestly didn't know why, but it did.

But the silence was stretching and Adam was turning to leave, a look of dissapointment on his face, and before she knew it she was alone again. _This is what you wanted, _she told herself bitterly and stormed out of Degrassi as fast as she could. She didn't stop running.


	13. Coming Home

Bianca let out a frustrated sigh, kicking a rock in her path.

She'd done everything right: avoided any needy questions from KC, sent Drew Torres a few dirty looks, managed to skip any classes she had with Adam.. And _yet_, look where it had gotten her. Adam didn't seem bothered by her dissapearing act. In fact, he was too busy flirting with that stupid New York princess, Fiona. That was the last time she'd do anything nice for someone... The worst part was, when she saw them together, it'd felt like she'd been punched in the chest.

And what could she do about it? Tell Drew? Sure, it would probably cause Adam a lot of grief, having his brother angry at him for flirting with his girlfriend.. But, if interfering with Drew Torres' petty relationship problems didn't earn her any strange looks from people, then she didn't know what would.

She was nearing home now, her walk becoming slower and slower as she approached the tiny building. She had no choice anymore, than to live here, with _him_. That is, if her mother let her through the door after storming out the night before.

Bianca bit her lip as she opened the front door. She took a step inside the aging house hesitantly and breathed a sigh of relief when she realized all was quiet. She walked easily down the hall now, passing the kitchen, comforted by the thought that her mother was obviously still at work.

"Where.. the hell have you been all night?" a voice screeched hoarsely from the half-open kitchen door.

Bianca cringed, turning slowly towards the voice.

Her mother appeared, eyes bloodshot, hair a mess, and Bianca had to remind herself not to play the victim here. Her story was simple: she'd just remembered she made plans with Ron-Ron that she forgot about and she crashed at his place all night.

Her mother didn't seem to take it so well.

"You're telling me that I spent all night calling Donny and apologizing for you and wondering when the _hell_ you were going to walk in that door, so you could go out and party with that.._delinquent?" _Mrs. Desousa shouted, but Bianca didn't even blink.

"There's nothing wrong with Ron-Ron." she spat, bitter at the fact that she seemed more concerned about getting that bastard to forgive her than whether her daughter was safe.

"The hell there's not! Every time you hang around with that boy, you come home drunk. Not to mention, he's already gotten you arrested once." her mother said.

Bianca refused to comment. If there was something wrong with anyone's old boyfriend, it was Donny. But she would never tell her mother about that. She couldn't.

She followed her mother into the kitchen and sat down, feeling out of place after spending most of the night at Adam's.

"I called the school," Mrs. Desousa said, her voice returning to normal but still livid. "After they told me you were in class, they started to tell how you've been missing classes again." She turned to face her daughter. "Would you like to tell me what that's about?"

Bianca rolled her eyes to the ceiling, keeping them fixed there so as not to lose her cool. "No I wouldn't, thanks," she said curtly and her mother's eyebrows shot up.

"Well, I hope you had enough fun ruining your chances to go college, because you won't be going out for a _long_ time. You're grounded," her mother said, turning away to start dinner.

Bianca's mouth dropped. "For how long?" she burst out angrily, jumping to her feet.

Her mother didn't turn, just bent to turn on the oven. "For as long as I say, Bianca. You brought this on yourself," she said distractedly.

Bianca fumed. So maybe she did deserve it; that didn't mean she couldn't still be mad.

She walked out of the room and out the front door again, slamming it behind her. She could hear her mother calling her back all the way down the street but she didn't turn back.

It was about time for Media Immersion...

* * *

Adam sighed, staring at his untouched plate. Clare and Eli were in some sort of deep, emotional conversation that didn't involve him and with all the things already weighing on his mind, they weren't exactly helping matters.

Clare looked up at the sound, obviously only now realising his presence. She blushed and stumbled an apology.

Eli smiled that infuriating smile of his and punched him on the shoulder playfully.

"Sorry, man. It's a couples thing," he said lightly.

"Don't I know it," Adam muttered, stabbing his fork into his food a little too roughly.

Clare exchanged a look with Eli and they moved slightly apart. Adam rolled his eyes; they obviously didn't want a repeat of the 'Fitz' incident.

Clare tried to pay peace-maker as usual. "Hey, Adam. Alli says the team's got a big competition coming up. That should be exciting, huh?" She smiled but it seemed half-hearted, because he knew she was only trying in vain to include him.

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Not really," he said, pushing away his lunch tray. He seemed to have lost his appetite. Clare could tell there was something on his mind.

She looked at Eli desperately. He looked back at her evenly, as if to say "he'll talk when he's ready."

Not quite in the mood for a heart-to-heart, Adam stood quickly, grabbing his bag.

Clare kicked Eli from under the table. "Where are you going?" she asked, her voice abnormally high.

"Sorry. I forgot, I promised Drew I'd help him study, " Adam said, scrambling for a lie. "He's hopeless in Math."

"But-but-" Clare stumbled, looking thoroughly let down.

"Sorry," he repeated sincerely, wishing he wasn't in this mood. Also, wishing _Bianca Desousa _wasn't the reason he was in the first place. He walked out of the cafeteria without looking back. If only he could confide in them about this...


	14. Forgiven

**Sorry for the inconsistent updates. I've been writing the chapters out of order (i have like 10 chapters half written) and i keep getting distracted by school, youtube, etc.**  
**I'll try to update more often, so review if you like the story :)  
**-Desiree

* * *

After spending the rest of the day avoiding concerned questions from his two best friends, Adam walked into Media Immersion, feeling relief that he could finally break away from them. Clare had some family thing, and so, wouldn't be here to interogate him any longer.

But the sight of a girl, sitting just two seats away from him, made him stop in his tracks. Bianca.

He figured she had skipped the rest of the day and, to be honest, he really didn't the constant reminder.

Regretfully, he sat down and tried to ignore her presence. She seemed to be doing the opposite.

* * *

"Adam," she said quickly, when he refused to look her way. _Well, I guess I deserve that too, _she thought grudgingly, still not quite used to the whole 'honesty' thing.

Walking up the steps of Degrassi, she'd made a decision. One that was long since due. She wasn't going to let that spoiled little New York brat sink her manicured claws into Adam if it killed her.

He glanced over for a small second, his face expressionless, and didn't respond. He kept his gaze focused on his computer, but she could tell he wasn't listening to a word Ms. Oh was saying.

She scoffed, opening the messenger window on her own screen, annoyed. She usually didn't have to try so hard to get boys. In fact, normally she didn't have to try at all. _They_ came to _her. _But of course, Adam wasn't like other boys.

Bianca paused over the keys, trying to think of something profound to say. But this wasn't like the movies and she had had a feeling some romantic poem of confession wasn't what he wanted anyway.

She wrote several drafts, full of apologies and excuses. But they were so sincere, they didn't sound like her at all. So she hit erase, again and again.

Eventually, she ended up with two simple, honest words. Bianca was positive they wouldn't work; she'd said them once before and they hadn't changed anything. But she had to try something.

_**bdesousa: I'M SORRY.**_

She clicked enter and waited, her heart pounding a little too fast.

A moment later, she heard him type softly on his own keyboard and she held her breath, waiting for the reply.

_**atorres: FOR WHAT?**_

Bianca rolled her eyes. She should have expected that.

_**bdesousa: FOR LYING...**_

He took a moment longer this time to reply.

_**atorres: I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING BRUTALLY HONEST, ACTUALLY.**_

_**bdesousa: NOT EXACTLY...**_

_**bdesousa: SO... **_she typed slowly, _**APOLOGY ACCEPTED?  
**_  
This time, his reply was quick.

_**atorres: I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.**_

Bianca stared blankly at the screen. _What was there to think about? _She glanced over at Adam, who was typing away on his assignment, and gritted her teeth.

Bianca Desousa waited around for no one. If he wouldn't come willingly, she would drive him crazy until he did. Her fingertips tapped on the desk, trying to think of something that would do just that.

* * *

Breathing deeply, she opened her locker. She felt sort of jumpy, as if somehow everyone knew every last detail of what was happening between her and Adam and were staring at her because of it. She'd practically offered herself to him and he'd rejected her. Bianca's cheeks heated.

Shoving her books inside, she closed the locker, thinking about burying her head in a trash can if it helped ease her embarassment. _Well, not for long_, she thought, as a certain jock spotted her from down the hall.

"Hey," said an eager voice and she turned to see KC breaking free of a crowd of football groupies. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Where were you the other night?" he asked brightly. He was leaning close to her as he spoke and Bianca's mouth twisted in disgust. She tried to look more interested, but it was more difficult than it should be.

"Detention," she lied, smiling brightly at him. It seemed to have the opposite effect; KC's brows knitted together in confusion. She was usually snappy and manipulative. It was weird seeing her like this, but he didn't necessarily mind. He preferred happy, bubbly girls anyway, even if all they wanted him for was one-time sex.

Ignoring that, KC smiled back reluctantly. "Oh," he replied. "Well, we could reschedule if, you know, you're still interested."

Bianca smirked, but this time it was all for show. "Oh," she said, hooking a finger in his jacket zipper and pulling down. "I'm interested."

KC gulped and Bianca decided it was time to go. She winked at him and strutted down the hall toward the school parking lot.

* * *

Adam sighed, kicking off his shoes as he entered the Torres household. He wandered into the living room, where his step brother Drew was sprawled out on the couch, half of his very limited attention on the tv and half on his cell phone. Adam rolled his eyes and sat opposite him, grabbing the remote. Drew didn't notice, too busy typing away on his phone. Suddenly, he burst out laughing at a text message he'd recieved.

"What?" Adam said distractedly while flipping through the channels.

Drew sat up, noticing him for the first time. He grinned, still chuckling. "You won't believe this, guess what?"

"Hmm?" Adam replied, not paying attention.

"_KC _is hooking up with _Bianca _right now," he burst out, laughing loudly again.

Adam's head snapped up. "Bianca's with who right now?" he said, slight jealousy colouring his voice despite his efforts to hide it.

"KC. You remember him, right?" Drew confirmed, holding up his phone as apparent proof. Adam stared at it, his face expressionless.

"Yeah..I remember," Adam said absently, trying not to wonder what exactly they were doing together. It wasn't as if he cared.

"Anyway, he was bragging about it in the locker room today. I can't believe he'd be that stupid, after what happened with me and Alli." Drew said, amused.

"Right.." he replied and despite his unenthusiastic responses, his step brother didn't seem to notice his strange mood.

"That _idiot," _Drew laughed as he flipped back over onto his back, still typing away.

Adam leaned back, turning around. He stared at the television screen without really seeing it. He didn't care...right?


	15. Can't Handle It

Bianca blew a ring of smoke into the cozy air and watched it fade quickly away. She was growing impatient. Here she was, alone and sitting in just KC's oversized t-shirt on a ratty old couch in his parent's basement. So this wasn't exactly how she'd pictured her next escapade to make Adam jealous, but she was making the best of it.

KC reappeared after several minutes with a fancy-looking bottle of champagne.

Bianca rolled her eyes up at him and stood to meet him, putting out the cigarette in the ash tray beside the couch. She wasn't looking forward to doing this and it would definitely help if she was completely out of it during the process. She was hoping for a simple beer at the very least, but it seemed like sissy wine from his parent's liquor cabinet was all she was going to get.

_What the hell, _she thought, and downed the glass of it he handed to her.

She smiled mischeviously and would have tossed it away if not for the fact that it looked pretty and expensive and she didn't want a lecture from his parents when she snuck out of here later.

Bianca led him to the couch and pushed him down roughly. She straddled him, the smirk on her face was frighteningly seductive in the dim lighting. He stared up at her with want in his eyes but, as usual, she wasn't seeing the boring brown eyes that stared up at her. If she let her imagination run a little, the lips she kissed were just like Adam's, soft and tempting. If she closed her eyes for just a moment, the body she was running her hands along were attached to a different face. And if she let her guard down just a little, she could almost hear Adam's voice when the insignificant boy underneath her whispered her name.

What the fuck was she getting herself into?

* * *

Bianca entered her house with one hand on the door handle and one on her aching head, for once glad to be home. She'd tried smoothing down her hair but it was just a tangled mess. Thank KC for yanking his too-hot hands through it a million bloody times. She honestly didn't want to remember it.

She wandered towards the kitchen, intent on getting herself dinner since her mother wasn't around. The house seemed relatively silent. She pushed open the door and was surprised to see her mother's back facing her, seated at the small wooden table.

"Mom?" she said confusedly. She was hunched over, with her head down...Could she be crying?

Mrs. Desousa turned around and Bianca was surprised for a second time to see one of the biggest smiles she'd witnessed her mother give in her lifetime. "Oh Bianca, finally!" she said, sounding way too excited to see her after her rude depature. Her stomach clenching, she followed her mother's gaze to the what her mother had been staring at so intently. A huge, shiny-new diamond was on the ring finger of her left hand.

"What is _that_?" Bianca said, her voice tense.

Her mother was still smiling dazzlingly. "He proposed!" she burst out, rushing over to hug her daughter. "Just after you left, he came back apologizing for overreacting and gave me this!" She pulled back and spread out her hand in midair. They both stood, examining the beautiful and clearly expensive engagement ring. "He wanted to have the wedding as soon as possible. And I said, why wait?" Mrs Desousa laughed breathlessly. "We're getting married on Valentine's Day, what could be more perfect?"

Her brain was whirring, and it wasn't because of the champagne.

"And," her mother said, placing her hands on Bianca's shoulders and looking her straight in the eye fondly. "He really wants you to be the bridesmaid, hun. I told him you'd love to."

Silence spread throughout the room and when Bianca didn't answer right away, her mother seemed to pick up on their differing reactions to this news.

Bianca breathed in deeply. She took a step back, shaking her mother off easily. "I most certainly would not love to," she snapped and Mrs Desousa blinked, taken aback.

"What did you say to me?" she asked her only daughter slowly.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Bianca shouted at her. Her anger had offically reached it's peak. "Don't you have any idea what he's done? What he's been doing for years?"

Angry tears flowed effortlessly down her face. She stared hard at her mother, who's expression had frozen. "Well, of course you do, you just pretend you don't see it!" she continued to shout. "You've known for years, haven't you?"

She was finding it oddly hard to breathe and her mother still hadn't moved, hadn't tried to correct her.

Mrs Desousa blinked, her eyes staying close for longer than they should have. "What - I have no idea what you're talking about, Bianca. Spit it out already." she said calmly, although she didn't look it.

"You selfish bitch!" she cried, shaking her head. "You _know_ what he tried to do to me!"

Mrs Desousa stood her ground. "I won't have you talking to me like that under my own roof, Bianca Desousa." she said threateningly, but to Bianca, she just sounded scared.

"You're telling me he snuck into my room every damn night for four years and you never noticed a thing?" Bianca shouted, and she was quite sure their neighbours could hear them through the thin walls.

Mrs Desousa shook her head once sharply, staring hard at the wall, the ceiling, the floor. Anywhere but at her daughter.

"You know," Bianca stated angrily, her voice cracking. They stared at each other, mother to daughter. The volume had been drained from Bianca's voice as quickly as it had come. "You know."

Before she could run off, the kitchen door open and in came the source of their argument. Bianca had officially lost the ability to care. She stared at the floor, drained.

"Great. You're here." Bianca didn't need to look to know who he was addressing. "So did you tell her, Karen?" he asked, his voice all happy and charming. It made her sick.

Silence again engulfed the tiny room and Bianca waited for her mother to say the words. To kick her out of this house without batting an eye. She knew it was going to happen, anyway. _Spreading vicious lies,_ Bianca heard her mother say in her head. She swallowed hard.

"What?" Donny said, catching on to the atmosphere much quicker than her mother had. Bianca looked up to watch the scene play out. She was surprised to see her mother staring hard at her boyfriend, her face unreadable.

Mrs Desousa nodded slowly and it was a long moment before she answered him. "It's true, isn't it?"

By the look on his face, Donny knew exactly what she was referring to. "What are you talking about, babe?" he said softly, reaching out to hold his fiance's hand.

She whipped her body out of the way so fast, for a moment it was a blur. Her mother's eyes filled with - well, she wasn't sure what exactly. It was so full with hate and disgust and anger that he took an automatic step back.

The words Mrs Desousa threw at him - well, to say the least, they weren't kind. Looking from her mother to her abuser and back again, Bianca's heart began to race. The truth was out. She'd done it. Her mother believed her, Donny was about to be punished...It was all too much.

She tore out of the room so fast neither adult had time to stop her, although Bianca could hear them both attempt to run after her. They stopped shouting her name several houses down, once the neighbours came out to see what all the noise was about. Donny had remained frozen on the front steps and Bianca could tell, gazing back at the house with unexpressable distaste, that he wouldn't be there for much longer.


	16. Running Away

Bianca staggered into the Dot. She'd had a total of five beers at this point, adding to the champagne bottle she'd already consumed, and she was fucking hungry. It was getting late and the place was close to empty, not that she noticed.

She stumbled her way to the counter, clutching her sixth bottle, and made quite the nuisance of herself to the waitress who insisted she was off her shift and couldn't even stay long enough to make her a freaking sandwich. Right. So she did a lot of glaring and scoffing and waited impatiently for the other waiter to finish taking a couple's order. She had never liked Sav Bandhari.

* * *

With unsteady hands, Karen Desousa picked up the telephone, standing in the middle of her small kitchen and dialed the number off of the piece of paper clutched in her other hand. She hadn't stopped shaking since she'd kicked her husband-to-be out for good. She cleared her throat nervously, just as a woman's voice answered her call.

"Hello? This is Lauren McKinley's office, how may I help you?"

"H-hi," Karen replied, trying to sound calm and mature. She'd learned that was the only way to get anyway with these buisness-type people. "I need a lawyer straight away."

* * *

Walking into the Dot with his head down, Adam sat at an empty table at the back. He was glad to see the place was relatively empty. He'd barely gotten out the door after the last time but he managed to convince his mom that he was going there to meet some friends and so wouldn't be alone. Which was bull, of course.

He hadn't spoken to Eli and Clare all weekend and, according to the eleven missed calls on his cell phone, they were starting to get worried about him. Believe me, he was trying his hardest to put on a smile and act like everything was perfectly fine. But it was harder than he thought to get Bianca out of his head this time around.

Perhaps it was because of the kiss.. That was a stupid idea.

Of course, he'd always had feelings for Bianca. But he'd learned to put them aside when he saw how she felt about him. The _real_ him. Which made him wonder if she was starting to change her mind about that... She certainly didn't seem as repulsed by him as before. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. He had to remind himself that Bianca would never change. Not for him.

"Hurry up!" a familiar, annoyed voice snapped. Adam looked up.

"Gimme a second. _Jesus_." Sav muttered irritably. He eyed Bianca as she raised a beer to her lips. Adam scrambled up and rushed over there.

"What are you doing?" he asked, grabbing bottle out of her hand. Sav rolled his eyes and walked off to take another order.

She grabbed for her drink but he held it away from them, hating the smell of alcohol himself. "Give it back!" she snapped. He sighed and handed it to her after a moment, figuring she could get drunk if she wanted to. He wasn't her babysitter.

"What are you doing here?" Bianca said rudely. She didn't look at him.

"Same as you, getting away from my problems." he said pointedly, sitting beside her.

"Well aren't you a regular Dr. Phil," she muttered, and took another sip of her drink.

Adam glanced over after a moment. Her eyes were empty-looking, which meant she was hiding something. _As always_, he thought and shrugged it off.

They sat in silence for a moment, Bianca finishing her beer and Adam waiting. She was the first to break the silence. "What do you want?" she asked, but her voice had lost it's bite.

He looked over at her and they locked eyes.

"Never mind," she muttered, tipping the bottle in her hands over and frowning when it turned up empty.

Adam sighed deeply, then looked around for sight of Owen or another of Bianca's neanderthal friends. When he didn't see one, he turned back around to look at her in confusion. Why was she here alone? And _drunk_. Sure, he knew she was no stranger to alcohol but in her case it usually involved a party and, well, other people.

"What..what happened?" he said tentatively, and tried to keep a neutral face when she glared at him sharply.

Then she seemed to give up the fight, her shoulders sagging slightly as she leaned heavily against the counter in front of her. Adam straighted up in alarm. She squeezed her eyes shut tight.

"She knows.." Bianca said blankly. Adam leaned in to hear her more clearly.

"Who knows what?" he said urgently, because she looked on the verge of passing out. _How many beers had she had?_

"About him..." she slurred, her forehead creasing at the noise.

"Who are you talking about? _Bianca_?" he said, shaking her shoulder gently.

"My mom," she said, her eyes opening for just a moment. They fluttered close immediately and she batted away his hand. "I said...my mom knows about -" she began again but couldn't seem to get it out.

"About what?" Adam said quickly, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Donny. About Donny." she said, her voice faint. The name registered with him after a moment and he felt a surge of hate run through him.

Adam leaned in closer, placing his hand back on her shoulder. "W-what can I do to help?" he said tentatively.

Suddenly, Bianca shot up from the stool, stumbling slightly. She shoved his arm away from her, and he backed up immediately. "I don't need your help," she snapped icily.

Adam watched as she pressed a hand to her forehead, as if trying not to feel regret. His lips pressed together, his eyes hard.

Bianca fainted.


	17. Cracked

Adam dove for the ground a second later, involuntarily shouting her name. Sav glanced up, spotted them, and dashed over immediately.

"Whoa. What happened here?" he exclaimed, kneeling beside the pair.

"She - she just passed out," Adam said, his eyes not wavering from Bianca's unconcious face. He supported her head, as Sav dissapeared for a moment. He brushed her wild hair from her cheek, his forehead creased in worry. _This couldn't be something more serious, right?_ he told himself. _She was just drunk._

Sav reappeared, tossing a set of keys in the air. "C'mon, let's get her out of here. I locked up early." he told Adam, then lifted Bianca over his shoulder with ease. They made their way behind the Dot to the parking lot.

"Where are we going?" Adam said, following beside them.

That threw Sav for a moment. "Well, my dad would kill - and I mean _kill me_ - if I brought a drunk girl home. Do you have any idea where she lives?"

"Forget it," Adam said quickly then. He wasn't letting Bianca go back home tonight.

"I'll bring her to my house. My mom won't mind," he lied, and Sav nodded, not asking questions.

* * *

They pulled up to the driveway a few minutes later and Adam jumped out almost immediately.

"Thanks for the ride, Sav. I'll, uh, take it from here." he said, and, with some difficult, extracted Bianca from the backseat. He made his way to the front door as the headlights danced across the house, sure to alert his mother to his approach. Adam sighed, _no way to avoid her now._

He pushed open the door slowly and shut it behind him without looking up, afraid of what he'd just stepped into. Fair enough, when he did, he jumped back. Both of his parents were waiting for him on the living room couch, their faces painted with shock as they took in the sight of the girl in his arms.

"Adam Marie Torres, what the hell is going on?" his mother shouted, getting immediately to her feet.

"Marie, mom? Really?" he said, grimacing as he made his way into the room. He carefully placed Bianca on the free couch, kneeling beside it.

"Oh, you would live to change that name too, would you?" Mrs Torres said under her breath and she was lucky that Adam's attention was elsewhere.

He stood slowly, regretfully tearing his eyes away from Bianca.

"Well?" Mrs. Torres practically shouted. He cringed, glad that Drew was such a heavy sleeper.

"Look, I was at the Dot and she was drunk and I couldn't just leave her there-" Adam started to say.

"Yes you very well could have. She is not your responsibility, Adam." his mother yelled.

Adam's step father stepped in, putting a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Be reasonable, Audra. The poor girl is obviously sick," he tried to reason but Mrs. Torres simply shrugged his hand off and continued her tirade. "I want her out."

"Mom!" Adam exclaimed, exasperated. He glanced at Bianca, who was still deeply unconcious and wondered how his mother could possibly kick her out. "She collapsed! I wasn't just going to leave her there, and besides, she's got..stuff going on at home and I am _not _going to just kick her out."

Mrs Torres looked at her husband for help but he was gazing at his step-son with a look of pride and amusement at the situation. Sighing, she looked around at Adam, seeing she was on her own. "Are.._dating _this girl?" she asked him flat-out.

Adam scoffed at this assumption. "No, mom. She's just a friend of mine."

"Oh, really? And you expect me to believe-" Mrs Torres began but was cut off by her husband, who said quickly, "We'll get the girl some water, if she's been drinking. Come, Audra."

"Thanks, Dad," Adam muttered, falling into an empty chair, glad the interrogation seemed to be over. For now, at least.

He jumped when the girl beside him stirred.

Bianca lifted her head with some difficulty, her eyes dashing around the room, disoriented. Recognition sunk in and she sat up, spotting him immediately.

"Wha - how did I get here?" she said loudly, her voice hoarse.

Adam almost rolled his eyes. "You passed out at the Dot, remember?"

"Right," Bianca replied absently, and ran her hands over her face, trying to clear her head enough to think clearly. "I'm going..h-home," she said, hiccuping slightly when she realised that wasn't possible. She got up anyway, heading for the door.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Adam said quickly, catching her as she swayed. "No way. you're not going anywhere."

Bianca tried to push him away, but she couldn't muster the strength. And, if she was quite honest, his warm arms were too inviting to deny without a clear mind. "Don't-" She hiccuped again. "-tell me what to do, Torres."

"Come on," he said quickly, as she swayed. "You can take my room."

He led her up the stairs slowly, and then kicked open the door of his bedroom. He removed his arm from around her immediately and lowered her to the bed.

"You can just sleep. We'll figure everything out later," he said, and she stared at him, not knowing what he meant by that and not caring enough in her current state to try and figure it out. He left her to it.

Bianca fell back onto the mattress, not even bothering to change.

* * *

Ms. Desousa's head snapped up when she heard the doorbell ring. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, and hurriedly wiped away the tracks of mascara running down her tear-stained cheeks. She cleared her throat, straightened her blazer, trying to look dignified as she pulled open the door.

"Hi, Ms. McKinley. Thanks for coming on such quick notice. Come in," she said, plastering on a smile.

Lauren McKinley stepped into the tiny house, with a dazzlingly smile on her face as if there wasn't any place she'd rather be. "Hello!" she said brightly, reaching forward to shake her hand. "You must be Karen."

"It's great to meet you." Karen replied politely.

She ushered the woman into the kitchen, sitting opposite her at the small table.

"So," Lauren began. "Before we can began. I need to know the full, honest story."

Karen swallowed, and her fake enthusiasm dwindled.

"Tell me what happened, Karen."

* * *

Bianca cringed, hearing raised voices carry up the staircase. She waited for them to stop; they were killing her already pounding head. She got up to close the door, wondering why they always fought when she was around.

"Adam, sweetie.." she heard Mrs. Torres sigh, and Bianca stopped, her hand lingering on the door. She was surprised to hear his mother's voice shake, as if she were witholding tears. "I'm just...scared."

Adam sighed, frustrated. "Scared of _what_, mom?" he asked. He must of knocked something over in his agitation because a second later she heard a muted crash.

His mother took a deep breath. "Scared that something might happen, between you and this girl - whoever she might be - and you'll end up-" Bianca rolled her eyes. "-_burning_ yourself again because she wasn't who you thought she was..." Bianca's sardonic smile froze in place. "I never want you to do that again."

Bianca's hand fell away from the door. Do..._what..._again?

"And I'm afraid that the stress of having a relationship with this girl this early on will cause you to go back to that," she continued on after a moment of silence. Bianca listened with ears wide open.

"Stress?" she heard Adam repeat with a short laugh, and her stomach twisted to hear him say it so amusedly, like his mother hadn't just accused him of self-harming. She couldn't possibly be serious...

She'd never known anyone who hurt themselves like that. Sure, she was involved in too many bad things to count: divorce, drugs, alcohol, and abuse... But the people she knew seemed to have enough pain caused by other people to want to add to it by hurting themselves. To think of Adam...

She shut her eyes, listening.

"Yes, Adam, stress. Teenage relationships can be complicated and given your..situation, I think it'd be best if you hold off for a while before jumping into anything. Only a few months ago you transitioned back to Gracie and until you get this figured out.. You're not ready to be dating so soon."

"You mean _you're_ not ready." he said, his voice going quiet again. Bianca had to strain to hear him. "All I've _ever_ wanted was to be normal. Like Drew and Dad and Eli and the rest of the world. And to be treated the same as them."

Mrs. Torres was quiet for a long minute and for a second, Bianca thought she must have left the room before she spoke again, her voice loud. "I'm looking out for both my children, Adam. I love you too much to let anything happen to you boys," she said sincerely.

"Would you just listen to yourself!" Adam burst out angrily. "How many excuses are you going to use before you say what you're really thinking, huh? Me, 'playing dress-up' and calling myself a boy, you can look that over. But dating a girl...? That's too much." The sound of footsteps told her Adam was climbing the staircase. "You know, for a minute there when we buried Gracie's clothes, I actually thought you accepted me for who I was. But I guess I was just kidding myself."

Bianca expected Mrs. Torres to pull him back, maybe apologize and make up with her son. But their was just cold silence from her end.

In record timing, Adam was storming up the stairs and she jumped back from the doorway, seating herself in an empty chair. He burst through his bedroom door and slammed it behind him.

"I didn't mean to cause all that," she muttered, as close to an apology as she could muster.

He glanced up in alarm, almost surprised to see her there.

"Wasn't your fault." he mumbled, shuffling his feet so as not to have to look at her. She took a step toward him and he reluctantly glanced up.

"You heard all of that." he stated, not bothering with questions.

She nodded wordlessly and searched his face, seeing he didn't look quite as angry as he had sounded downstairs. More hurt and terrified than strong and defensive, like she'd thought. Her eyes tickled.

It was amazing how quickly she'd sobered up, hearing those few words downstairs. _"I'm scared you'll end up burning yourself again because she wasn't who you thought she was..." _

He waited patiently for her to say something. She didn't really know what he wanted from her.

Bianca blinked away the wetness in her eyes. It was better to be angry, than sad. Or God forbid, guilty. "You.. you burned yourself." she stated bluntly, but it came out as a question.

Adam nodded, looking away. She noticed idly how he tugged absently on his sleeves and her eyes strayed to his arms, that always seemed to be covered, uniform or not. She took a step toward him, her breathing going funny, blinking rapidly, and caught his wrist. His eyes were wide and he watched her in silence as she pushed back the sleeve of his sweater, revealing the marks.

She lost her breath for a moment, her eyes fluttering madly as she fought the stupid tears still in vain. "Oh my God," she breathed shakily and backed away from him, releasing his wrist. It swing back to his side.

All the while, Adam didn't say a word. Maybe he couldn't.

"You did that..." she stated emotionlessly, "...because of me." Her face was completely void of expression, but Adam knew better. Knew _her _better. She was hiding again.

"No...no," Adam started to say but the look on her face, the coldness that crossed over it when he tried to defend her, caused him to stop.

"If I hadn't pushed you away that day, you wouldn't have done it." she said bluntly, staring him straight in the eyes. It frightened him.

Again, he shook his head but it didn't matter.

"I was a selfish bitch who...was too scared to see what she had right in front of her." A single tear slid down her cheek; it seemed to bring life to her face and finally, Adam could see past that wall again. Several emotions passed through those eyes: sadness, guilt, anger, regret...

He looked at her for a long moment. "What now?" he asked, almost whispering, because he had honestly no idea.

"I'm not scared anymore," she replied simply. The next thing he knew, Bianca had thrown herself across the room toward him and he barely had time to note the look of her beyond-frightened eyes before her lips were on his. She kissed him with all the emotion she had in her, pent up from keeping her feelings locked away inside of her. He pulled her closer, forgetting everything else for this moment. And he hardly dared to believe it was happening...

Bianca Desousa had finally cracked.


	18. Fool Me Once

Sorry for the incredibly late update, i couldn't seem to finish a chapter. also, i think im pretty sure im going to go back and edit all the chapters, since i realised its pretty terrible :/

anyways, hope you enjoy the chapter.

xxo

* * *

_The sound of a deep, intimidating laugh fluttered around her. It was entirely infuriating and she couldn't manage to find the source. "Ron-Rooooon!" she yelled, her voice annoyingly small and girly. Ron teased her for it, but it was something she was stuck with, so._

_He chuckled again, appearing around the corner now. "You gotta keep up, Bee," he chided her, shaking his head in mock-disappointment._

_She glared at him fiercely, putting her hands on her hips. "Fuck off."_

_His eyes went wide at that and she realized with a thrill that she had stunned him for once. Ha! Then he dissolved into laughter, coming over to ruffle her curls fondly. "Don't let your mom hear you say that," he warned, but his mouth was still curved in that smirk of his._

_Bianca smiled involuntarily and held her arms out for her stolen doll. "What Momma doesn't know won't hurt her," she said surely, squeezing the pig-tailed, obscenely kiddish plastic toy-thing tight against her chest. The doll had pretty much ruined any chances of ever being looked at by Ron as mature, but she was special, okay? _

Bianca had thought for years that she was in love with Ron - I mean, he was hot - or at least that was what her cousins would say when they realized she actually knew him. Ronald Wilson - that football God with the muscles and wicked hair, who wouldn't love him? But she had come to realize she saw him as nothing but a big brother. Better than any of the family she had ever known, for sure. Better than blood.

Most importantly, she was the one to name him "Ron-Ron." In her defense, she was young at the time and just his name alone sounded so stupid. Everything had to be repeated twice. Everything. He didn't seem to mind though and plus, he had given her nickname too.

Bumblebee, real original.

She told him everything. He was always the first person she would go to, recounting events like they didn't make sense or didn't matter until she told him. The only secret she'd ever kept from him, the only one, was when Donny happened. She'd told no one about that. She still ran to him most nights, crying hard enough to scare them both.

Other than those rare times when she didn't allow it, he was always there. Until, of course, he wasn't.

The biggest party Bianca had ever been to was Ron's eighteenth birthday party. She had to sneak out at midnight just to go, but it was so worth it. She was still just a kid compared to the other party-goers but of course, she hadn't seen it at the time. She felt like a big girl, with her make-up up done. Hair sleek and pretty. Heels high enough to cause serious damage if she were to teeter just a little too far in one direction. Ron took one look at her and shook his head, his expression strange, and wordlessly shoved an extra-large jacket over her shoulders. It was hideous. She pouted the whole time.

She'd decided to give a taste of his own medicine, ignoring him like he'd been known to do whenever the big kids were around, in favor of a boy way too old for her. He said she was pretty though, so.

It didn't make sense to her when she was dragged away by Ron-Ron, although the livid expression on his face was enough to shut her up. He locked her up in his parent's room, pressing two fingers to his temples like she was testing his patience.

"_What?_"she asked innocently enough.

Ron's expression had softened then and he came to sit beside her. "You shouldn't have come," he'd said. "I shouldn't have let you."

She had frowned at that. No one told her what to do, only Ron. But he was usually reasonable, so she always allowed it. Now, though, he reminded her of her mother. Big and bossy, she was about to call him, but-

"I'm leaving, Bee," he said, surprising her yet again. She remained silent and he ploughed on, his expressive eyes spilling apologies. "There's nothing here for me, I need to get out. But you'll be alright," he said with a whole lot of conviction, taking her small hands in his big ones. It reminded her so much of how she had always pictured her father leaving that she yanked out of Ron's grasp, curling up on herself.

"Bee, come on. Don't be like that," he'd said, having the nerve to sound hurt at her rejection.

She thought hard, her mind working too fast to make much sense. But this much had been clear: she could not let Ron go, not without her, at least. "Take me with you," she burst out suddenly. She scrambled over to him, eyes wide and frantic. His eyes registered sad and amused. "No, no, listen. _Listen._ No one'll have to know. Momma won't even notice anyway, she's got Donny now. Just take me with you! I won't bother you, I promise. I'll be so good, you'll see. I'll even get a job if you want me to, I'll-"

"Bee, Bee, Bee-" he laughed, cutting her off. He cupped her face in his strong hands and she fell silent, huffing out her frustration instead. He looked at her fondly but she saw then that he had never really seen her as an equal like she hadould thought. In his eyes, she was just a kid, small and naive and easily fooled. "You know I want you to come, but..."

She did not listen to his reasoning. She didn't care anymore. What she took from that night had changed her. For better or worse, she still wasn't sure. But she stopped hanging around with Ron, and he took the hint. He was gone three months later, just gone. Like her father, one day he was there and the next, she woke up crying for him and he wasn't there to make it better as usual.

That summer, she grew up. Toughened up on the inside, grew into a hot teenager on the outside. She stopped missing him, didn't ask around about him, didn't open the letter he'd left her, or listen on the other line when he called her mother asking about her. He stopped calling after a while anyway, so she presumed he'd just stopped caring. It didn't matter.

Bianca started high school and Donny finally split for good, giving her the biggest sense of relief she had felt since Ron left. She was able to become somebody new, a person _she _chose to be. Her new life was exciting and thrilling and the best part was, she was doing it all on her own. She didn't need Ron around anymore to get her into parties and introduce her to the cool people - _her _people. She didn't need anybody.

But the thrill was wearing off and the people she had once found so interesting started to bore her. Her own best friends were pissing her off on a regular basis. School seemed pointless. Her mother was unbearable to be around most nights, even more so than usual. And she was looking for something, she had no idea what but she would spend everyday waiting impatiently until she found it.

It was only until _Adam freaking Torres_ came to town that she figured it out, his secrets somehow bigger than her own and yet he stood there, brave as ever, and stood up to her like she was nothing. And boy, did he make her want to _be something_. Of all people, he was the one she had fallen in love with. Ron-Ron would surely laugh if she told him.

The most maddening thing of all, that he seemed to have her figured out. They understood each other in a way that she wasn't used to. She'd let her guard down one night and told him about Donny. Of course, she only told him half of the truth. That Donny had never succeeded.

_He doesn't need to know_, she thought, caught somewhere between sleep and consciousness. In a moment, she would wake in Adam's bed. In a minute, she would begin to panic. And in the next, she would grab her things and go, never looking back.

* * *

He shot up from the couch immediately the second he came to the next morning, rushing about his daily routines as if on some Bianca-induced high. He sat at the kitchen table, watching the door anxiously and shoveling spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth. The taste slipped past him.

So did Bianca apparently.

Adam decided to check on her a short while later, growing impatient as the clock neared eight. Perhaps her hangover was too much to handle this morning. He wandered down the hall, brushing past his step-brother on the way, and found his bedroom door ajar. The room was empty, the only proof that someone had slept here the night before was his unmade bed. Bianca was gone.

He leaned back against the door frame, sighing. _Should have seen it coming._

Drew paused over his shoulder, looking curious. "What's with the face?" he said, fixing the collar of his uniform as he surveyed the perfectly normal looking room.

Adam looked up, blinking. His parents had apparently kept the knowledge of Bianca's late-night visit to themselves for the time being. That was probably for the best. Drew had a big mouth and Bianca probably didn't want anyone at school finding out she had slept over. Drunk and delirious or not.

Drew raised his eyebrows, prompting him to speak.

Adam shrugged. "Nothing. Just tired," he muttered, exiting the room.

It was quite pathetic, really, that he had ever expected anything more from Bianca. She wasn't willing to look past the physical side of him, not ever. He knew she felt something for him, that much was obvious now, but it wasn't enough apparently. She was just a scared little girl who thought way too much about what other people thought. And as much as she pretended not to care, she always would. He'd been fooled, too. Again.

He pulled his hood up, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and took off for school with his bag slung loosely over his shoulder. _Well, screw her,_ he thought with determination and a whole lot of stubbornness.

Eli caught up with him almost immediately, having spotted him walking from where he was tuning Morty in the parking lot. He smiled, but it seemed tense. "Hey stranger," he called casually.

Adam felt himself relax slightly, some of the tension disappearing at the notion that he still had his best friend. He smiled back hugely. At least some things in his life were still normal.

"Where's Clare?" he asked, letting his hood fall back as he ran a hand through his hair.

Eli's smile faltered, enough for Adam to notice. "She's..busy, I'm sure," he said pointedly, pulling open the door for them both.

Adam frowned. As distracted as he'd been all week, he hadn't noticed anything off with the two of them. He shrugged and stepped through, figuring he would just ask Clare about it later, instead of having to decipher Eli's cryptic answers.

Except there was no need.

They screeched to a halt at the sight of the couple blocking their way, wrapped in a close embrace that didn't make sense at all. All Adam could think, as he noticed the expression on Eli's face as he saw them too, was _What have I missed?_

"_Clare?_" he exclaimed in surprise before he could stop himself. She jumped immediately, banging her forehead against the strange boy's in the process.

She turned to him slowly, nursing her forehead. Her eyes widened when she saw Eli, who appeared calm and aloof - although his hands were curled into tight fists, knuckles turned impossibly white in his effort to keep it under control. Adam drew back, nervous for the consequences.

"Adam. Eli!" Clare squeaked, ducking under the safety of the boy's arm. Eli's eyes flashed and suddenly, him and the boy were having a stare-down.

Adam laughed nervously, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Clare," he said, "I don't think we've all met. How about you introduce everyone?"

She must have heard the desperation in his voice, but her eyes were locked with Eli's. They were communicating with looks that he didn't understand. Neither, apparently, did the boy.

"Clare?" he said nervously, touching her hand lightly.

She didn't seem to notice, but Eli definitely did.

His mouth slipped into that wicked smirk of his that meant he was really on edge. Something really bad was going to happen unless he put a stop to it.

"Eli," Adam hissed under his breath and his friend reluctantly turned his narrowed eyes to him. He shook his head slightly. Eli either didn't understand the hint or pretended not to.

He turned back to Clare, smiling unnervingly. She looked rightfully scared, clutching the boy's hand so tightly he winced.

"Nice to see you again...Jake," Eli said, perfectly polite.

Clare swallowed loudly, her curls bouncing this way and that as she looked from "Jake" and back to Eli continually. You could practically see the tension in the air and, not only was she in the middle of it, she had _caused_ it.

"Right," Clare said suddenly, sounding small and child-like, "Adam, Eli, this is Jake, my..boyfriend." Her eyes found Eli's and stuck there.

"Childhood friends," Eli filled in, a good-natured and amused grin on his face that didn't match his mood at all.

Clare watched him sadly and didn't go on.

Poor Jake could do nothing but stand there, holding Clare's hand in a fierce, protective sort of way, although she wasn't paying it or him the slightest attention. It couldn't really be helped. For Eli and Clare, they were the only two people in the world right now.

"Stop _looking _at me like that," Clare burst out suddenly, sputtering.

"Like what?" Eli said, quirking an eyebrow. Now he was being cruel.

"Like I've done something terrible!" she said loudly. "You were the one who couldn't let go of your past, not me. I tried to make this work, and now you're punishing me. And for _what?_"

Eli's careful mask faltered slightly and he closes his eyes briefly, swallowing hard against something. "Clare-" he said quietly, eyes still shut tight.

"No," she snapped this time, stalking forward. "I won't let you ruin this. We had something great and you - you - you fucked it up!"

Pretty much everyone gasped at that, even a few passers by. Clare Edwards never, ever swore.

"I won't let you," she repeated, quietly now. Her eyes were filled with tears. Eli had really screwed her up this time.

"Clare," Adam breathed, mouth open but no words came out. She couldn't see that she'd messed Eli up a little too.

Eli had let go of the mask altogether now, looking at Clare like - like... "I love you, Clare," he said, confident and sure.

Clare squeaked in shock, eyes widening to a maximum amount, and didn't speak.

Eventually _someone _had to break the heated silence, stop those two from breaking poor Jake's heart any further. It was obvious what was to happen now, not that anyone really needed it to be spoken. But of course, it was better just to rip the bandage off...right?

He walked over, shaking his head sadly as he placed a hand on Poor Jake's shoulder. He wasn't mocking, not really.

"Sorry Jake," he said earnestly. "These two are hopelessly in love. Might as well save yourself."

Jake was stunned, along with Eli and Clare, all which stared at him in astonishment.

"Oh come on," he said, exasperated. "It's true, isn't it? Better he realizes it now than later."

They all stared at him a bit more, then Eli shrugged and Jake groaned, realizing it was true, and Clare gave another little squeak, looking helpless. Her pretty blue eyes warmed up though, when Eli casually slipped his hand into hers.

Adam sighed happily, satisfied with his handy work.

Clare beamed, then seemed to realize her "boyfriend" was still in the room. She bit her lip, carefully extricating herself from the one she really wanted to be with, walking over to Jake shyly, as if he might shout at her. He didn't look up for it, just somewhat unsure about what was happening. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Jake," she said tentatively.

He looked at her, dazed. "Clare."

She sighed, looked down at her shoes and back up at him. Poor, poor Jake. "Look, I know we've only been dating for a short time but I can't do this anymore. It isn't fair to you and you deserve to be with someone who loves you back. I'm sorry."

"Wow," Adam muttered, amused and guilty. "Now that's what I call a rejection."

Eli gave a snort of agreement, a smirk still on his face - but minus the scary suppressed anger.

Jake nodded, touching her shoulder for a moment and then letting go. He was a sport about it, not trying to change her mind or telling her she wasn't that great of girlfriend anyway or ugly or a bad kisser, Adam gave him that. "Goodbye Clare," he said quietly, a sad little smile on his lips as he walked off, shoulders slumped.

It was clear that Eli was resisting the urge to laugh. Adam elbowed him, nodding his head toward a worried-looking Clare. She was beating herself up about hurting Jake's feelings and Eli needed to cheer her up. Not that hard, considering the second she looked at him, her face broke out into a wide grin.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds then," Adam said too loudly, clapping Eli on the shoulders once before walking off.

"Oh Adam. So subtle," Clare sighed, blushing as Eli took her face in his hands.

"I heard that!" he tossed over his shoulder, grinning back at his best friends. They weren't paying him any attention, too busy breaking Degrassi's rule on PDA. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed them until now.

So all was right with the world again, for the most part.

He rounded the corner, smiling to himself, and only remembering what exactly he'd been so angry about before when he ducked into class and saw Bianca's empty seat. He leaned back, biting down on his lip to keep from growling in frustration. Damn Bianca for making him actually worry about her after what she'd pulled last night. Damn her.

* * *

"Thank you for coming to me, Karen," said, when Mrs. Desousa finally stuttered to a stop. "You did the right thing."

"I just want my daughter to be safe," Karen replied shakily, smiling uneasily.

"For this to work," Lauren began slowly, staring Mrs. Desousa down. "We'll need Bianca to testify, in court. She _has_ to be on board with this or, frankly, you've got no chance of winning your case."

Karen gulped, wringing her hands together where they lay on her lap.

Lauren looked her up and down, eyes narrowed before she turned back to her cell. "Well," she sighed, standing again. Karen watched her go, feeling like she could burst into tears again at any moment. "Give me a call if you want to go through with this - and I sincerely hope you do."

"It was l-lovely to meet you, ma'am," Karen said, trying for a smile. She ushered the woman outside, cheeks straining against the effort. She broke down the moment Mrs. McKinley turned her back.

"Where are you, B?" she whispered into the frigid air.

Mrs. Desousa stepped back into the warmth of the doorway. She hesitated, just a moment, staring out at the quiet street before slamming it shut behind her.

* * *

Bianca closed her eyes for a brief moment, enjoying the way the cool air felt on her flushed skin. She shivered but didn't make a move to grab the sweater in her backpack. Adam's sweater. She didn't want to think about him just yet, it was too much.

She scuffed her boots on the sidewalk, hugging herself. The tiny booth didn't offer much in the way of comfort, but then again, neither did the place she was going anyway.

A low rumbling sound caught her attention and she looked up, pursing her lips. Finally.

"Where to, little lady?" the wheezy old bus driver said as she hopped up the few steps.

Grimacing, she rattled off the address and he nodded somewhat reluctantly.

"That ain't no place for a girl like you," he said, having the nerve to look concerned about her.

She silently fumed, giving him a terse smile as she grabbed her bag and crossed to the back seat. "Bite me," she muttered as she sat down, giving him a good glare.

It would be a long while before she got there. Her mom would definitely start to worry, maybe even call around, see if anyone had heard from her. She only hoped she'd get far enough away before then that it wouldn't matter. She wasn't coming back, anyway.

Bianca hadn't spoken to Ron-Ron since he moved away and she missed him. He may be a 20-something year old unemployed senior but he was still one of a kind. A real sweetheart on the inside, although Bianca was one of the very few people - quite possibly the only one - he would ever show that side to. They had once been close, trusting each other even when trust went out the window with everybody else.

But no, that wasn't why she was going to see him. He had money. Drug money, but money none the less. He could give her a loan and with his help, she would be able to get out. She wanted as far away from her mother, Donny, and Adam Torres as she could get.

She wasn't planning on looking back.


End file.
